Bee Movie (2007)

MY AFFECTION FOR DreamWorks Animation has definitely grown over the last five years, thanks to more deeply developed offerings such as the Kung Fu Panda films, How to Train Your Dragon, and last year’s Rise of the Guardians.

But before that, DreamWorks’ output lacked the depth and imagination that Pixar was providing in droves. And 2007’s Bee Movie is (hopefully) one of the last installments of that earlier time.

Barry B. Benson (Jerry Seinfeld) is a college grad who’s eager to begin his career as a worker bee in his hive. Since bees have a short lifespan, he knows he has to make his career choice count – once a bee picks a job in the hive, they’re stuck with it for the rest of their (abbreviated) life. While out collecting pollen, Barry befriends Vanessa (Renée Zellweger), a human who values all living things, including Barry. When Barry is outraged that people have been “stealing” bees’ honey for years, Vanessa helps him file a lawsuit against the human race.

Bee Movie is pollinated here and there with make-you-smile cleverness, but out-loud laughs are few. Many jokes will go over kids’ heads, but the punchlines won’t satisfy the adults who get them. (It really took four writers to come up with this?)

In addition to uneven humor and lack of character depth, the film demands huge suspensions of disbelief. The fact that Vanessa accepts and befriends a talking bee after only a few moments is hard to swallow, not to mention the swarms of people in the courtroom during Barry’s lawsuit trial who also seem unaffected by Barry’s ability to speak. It’s also tough buying the seasoned, “lemme tell ya” voice of 53-year-old Jerry Seinfeld as a recent college graduate. (If you’re dying for a Jerry/Puddy reunion, Seinfeld’s Patrick Warburton voices Vanessa’s arrogant and jealous boyfriend, Ken.)

Bee Movie starts with a promising premise – questioning the idea of having one monotonous job your entire life (a la Wreck-It Ralph) – but soon devolves into a much less engaging plot involving a courtroom trial that kids won’t care about, much less understand. Uneven and too clever for its own good, Bee Movie provides occasional glimpses of inspiration, but ultimately not enough sting.

Rating:

What did FilmBoy and Jack-Jack think?

FilmBoy stayed with Bee Movie for the first hour, but then his attention waned and he started looking at his Pokemon cards. His final verdict: “It was okay.” Meanwhile, Jack-Jack soaked in every bit, getting visibly animated at much of what was going on.

Is it suitable for your kids?

Bee Movie is rated PG for "mild suggestive humor."
Language: A bee accuses Barry of “making out” with Vanessa. When he needs to go to the bathroom, Barry declares he needs to “drain the ol’ stinger.” A bee says of a female co-worker, “She’s hot!” Barry describes a character as being “very Jewish.” In a low moment, Barry and Vanessa jokingly discuss a “suicide pact” and how they would do it. One mention each of “drag queen,” “poo water,” and “heaving buttocks.”
Violence: Vanessa stabs herself with a fork to make sure she’s not dreaming. Barry has a dream where Vanessa crashes a plane she’s piloting and it bursts into flames. There are several scenes of slapstick punching and slapping. Ken tries to swat, smash, and light Barry on fire during a fight.
Adult Themes: There’s an ongoing theme, though handled lightheartedly, of dying and death due to the bee’s short lifespan.
Smoking: A human passerby smokes a cigarette.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

The images and premise of Bee Movie may appeal to her, but she may balk at the pedestrian humor and questionable adult material in such a child-targeted film.

Wow – that's one honey of a serve!
(Oh, boo-hiss to you, too.)

Bee Movie
* Directors: Steve Hickner, Simon J. Smith
* Screenwriters: Jerry Seinfeld, Spike Feresten, Barry Marder, Andy Robin
* Stars: Jerry Seinfeld, Renée Zellweger, Matthew Broderick, Patrick Warburton, John Goodman, Chris Rock, Kathy Bates, Eddie Izzard, Alan Arkin, Megan Mullally, Rip Torn, Larry Miller, Barry Levinson
* MPAA Rating: PG



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Rise of the Guardians (2012)

What is your center?

That’s the question posed by the imaginative and inspiring Rise of the Guardians, where Santa Claus (Alec Baldwin), the Easter Bunny (Hugh Jackman), the Tooth Fairy (Rango’s Isla Fisher), and the Sandman try to recruit the reluctant, wayward Jack Frost (Chris Pine) to join them in the fight against Pitch Black (Jude Law), a malicious spirit determined to take over the world and destroy the innocent beliefs and dreams of children.

Granted, the idea of Santa Claus as a Russian émigré with tattooed forearms, or a six-foot Easter Bunny who wields boomerangs and an Aussie accent, is an acquired taste. But director Peter Ramsey soon puts those concerns to rest by giving us deep, fleshed-out characters to believe in without having to delve into their origins.

Our guide to this world is the apprehensive Jack Frost, as we follow his quest and internal struggle to determine if he has what it takes to become a Guardian – in other words, to stop making mischief and recognize his true calling.

What’s at stake here, as Pitch is quite aware, is that if kids don’t believe in the Guardians, they will cease to exist. With the help of a young boy named Jamie (Dakota Goyo) as their unwavering believer, our heroes attempt to prove that even the scariest of boogeymen is no match for the bravery and beliefs of children.

The film features enthralling, breathtaking animation in which Ramsey and his team take full advantage of the 3D without going overboard or making it seem like a retro-fit. The battles between the Guardians and Pitch’s army of nightmare creatures are truly amazing, including a show-stopping finale involving more characters than you can shake a freezing staff at.

With Rise of the Guardians, it’s another crowning achievement for DreamWorks Animation (How to Train Your Dragon, Kung Fu Panda 2) as they pull even further ahead of Pixar and its recent lackluster offerings (Cars 2, Brave).

If you didn’t experience Rise of the Guardians in theaters, here’s your chance to see what an amazing film you missed. Your kids will believe. And so will you.

Rating:

What did FilmBoy think?

He had high hopes going in to Rise of the Guardians. His verdict? “It was even better than I thought it would be.” In fact, after our whole family watched it, he ran off with the disc and immediately watched it two more times. Can you say “ringing endorsement?”

Is it suitable for your kids?

Rise of the Guardians is rated PG for “thematic elements and some mildly scary action.” The idea of Pitch turning kids’ dreams into nightmares may be scary for very young children. Pitch kidnaps Tooth’s fairies and later threatens to crush one of them in his hand. Santa wields two large swords when doling battle with Pitch’s army. One of the Guardians appears to be destroyed by Pitch. Jack’s actions inadvertently cancel Easter. Jack’s backstory (shown in flashback) involves him drowning after falling through the ice on a lake while rescuing his little sister. The Tooth Fairy (ironically and comically) knocks out one of Pitch’s teeth. There’s no inappropriate language, aside from the Easter Bunny’s occasional use of the Aussie adjective “bloody” and Pitch tells the Easter Bunny to “go suck an egg.”

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Yes. Rise of the Guardians is full of tremendous storytelling, amazing animation, and the theme of keeping children’s beliefs alive. Make it essential viewing for Family Movie Night.


Rise of the Guardians
* Director: Peter Ramsey
* Screenwriter: David Lindsay-Abaire
* Stars: Chris Pine, Alec Baldwin, Jude Law, Isla Fisher, Hugh Jackman, Dakota Goyo
* MPAA Rating: PG


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The Iron Giant (1999)

RARELY DOES A FILM COME ALONG like The Iron Giant that ignites a passion in people.

Part of that passion comes from the fact that it’s a terrific film on all levels – a fantastic story featuring rollicking action, touching relationships, and the last gasp of top-notch 2D animation (only the Iron Giant himself is computer-animated).

Another part of that passion is even more fascinating: Watch the reaction of someone who’s seen The Iron Giant when another person tells them, “I’ve never seen it.” The first person will start to stammer, eyes widened, falling over themselves to tell the other person how great it is, and that they must see it immediately. That reaction is justified by the person, and earned by the film.

Set in Maine at the height of paranoia surrounding the Cold War, The Iron Giant follows nine-year-old Hogarth Hughes (Eli Marienthal), an avid reader of comic books and watcher of the many B-movie sci-fi flicks of the era. When a giant metal alien (voiced by Vin Diesel) lands in Hogarth’s town, he hides him as best he can from prying eyes, primarily those of sneaky government agent Kent Mansley (Christopher McDonald). While it feels like a childhood dream come true for Hogarth (“My very own robot!”) and the two start forming a bond, he seeks help from a local beatnik (the perfectly cast Harry Connick, Jr.) whose scrapyard provides a safe haven from the paranoid townfolk and the US Army…but for how long?

Director Brad Bird (The Incredibles, Ratatouille) does a masterful job of developing the relationship of Hogarth and the Giant (via Tim McCanlies’ terrific script) as Hogarth explains the ways of Earth as he sees them – from the awesomeness of Superman, to the joys of doing a cannonball into a lake, to the violence and sadness of guns.


Cynics may dismiss The Iron Giant as nothing more than E.T. with a robot, but they’d be wrong on several levels, the biggest one being that the source material for The Iron Giant – the 1968 novel The Iron Man by Ted Hughes – predates E.T. by nearly 15 years. However, there is one similarity: If you cried at the ending of E.T., you’ll probably blink back tears during The Iron Giant’s finale.

Warner Brothers’ mishandling of The Iron Giant’s theatrical release in 1999 is one of the more colossal blunders in the history of the business. The studio barely promoted or advertised the film, so it vanished from theatres in weeks. Luckily, it found a second life through home video and word of mouth, and is now considered a classic.

The Iron Giant is a tremendous, powerful story featuring lessons on life, death, friendship, love, and sacrifice. Simply writing this review makes me want to watch it again. If that’s not a ringing endorsement, I don’t know what is.

Rating:

What did FilmBoy think?

He and I share the rating. He couldn’t put his finger on any favorite part, but he thoroughly enjoyed The Iron Giant – laughing at several scenes of Hogarth and the Giant bonding and playing, and getting caught up in the finale when the Giant must evade and ultimately face off against the US Army, who are determined to destroy him.

Is it suitable for your kids?

The Iron Giant is rated PG for “fantasy action and mild language.”
Violence/Scariness: Hogarth gets a nosebleed after running into a tree branch; a deer is shot and killed (we hear the gunshot then see the lifeless body); Mansley knocks Hogarth unconscious with a chloroform rag; two boys are in peril of falling off the top of a building; the army shoots a mass amounts of weapons at the Giant, including guns, tanks, and missiles; the Giant responds with his own catalog of weapons that destroys several tanks and army trucks (no soldiers are killed). The finale, involving Hogarth’s town, the Giant, and a nuclear missile, may be emotionally intense for very young children.
Drugs/Alcohol/Tobacco: There are passing mentions of alcohol that will probably go over young kids’ heads. Mansley smokes a pipe on occasion. Hogarth gets comically wired after drinking an espresso.
Language: There are mild profanities: “hell” (2x), “damn it” (2x), and in the finale, Mansley declares, “Screw our country!”

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Yes. And if she’s not sure, make her. It’s a great film she shouldn’t miss.

 

That's either the Giant, or the squirrels are

throwing an all-nighter in their penthouse suite.

The Iron Giant
* Director: Brad Bird
* Screenwriter: Tim McCanlies
* Stars: Eli Marienthal, Vin Diesel, Harry Connick Jr., Jennifer Aniston, Christopher McDonald, John Mahoney
* MPAA Rating: PG


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ParaNorman (2012)

POOR LITTLE NORMAN BABCOCK. An 11-year-old horror buff, Norman is an outcast at school, his family thinks he’s weird, and he’s harassed daily by school bully Alvin (Christopher Mintz-Plasse). Oh, one other thing: Norman can speak with the dead. And no one believes him.

Norman’s hometown of Blithe Hollow has a bit of a dark history: Several centuries ago, the townsfolk conjured up a good old-fashioned witch hunt – and hung an accused witch in the process. This lurid chapter in the town’s history is now embedded in its culture, from the names of its stores and restaurants to the tourist trap tchotchkes for sale on every corner.

But things are about to get much more serious: Norman’s seemingly crazy uncle, the homeless Mr. Prenderghast (John Goodman), swears he’s been holding back the witch’s curse for years by reading from an ancient book. But after he dies of a heart attack, it’s up to Norman to hold back the curse. What is the curse, you ask? Well, the witch will raise her accusers from the dead on the 300th anniversary of her trial. Which, wouldn’t ya know, is tomorrow.

Of course, Alvin gets in the way of Norman’s attempt to hold back the witch, the curse is unleashed, and seven zombies (the judge of the witch trial and six accusers) rise from their graves and descend on Blithe Hollow – leaving Norman, his only friend Neil (Tucker Albrizzi), Alvin, Norman’s snotty teen sister Courtney (Anna Kendrick) and Neil’s dumb jock brother Mitch (Casey Affleck) to try and save the day.

Meanwhile, the zombies do reach the center of town – and in an ironic twist, these undead persecutors become persecuted themselves by Blithe Hollow’s modern townsfolk, who are more vicious, violent, and bloodthirsty than the zombies themselves.

Norman eventually uncovers the true reason for the witch’s curse – one that is really dark and kind of spoilery. It’s here that ParaNorman’s horror-comedy vibe detours to one that’s more emotionally deep, a tonal shift that may turn off some viewers but one that produces a poignant ending that’s equal parts philosophical and phantasmagoric.

Featuring outstanding stop-motion animation and great doses of morbid humor (Norman tussling with Mr. Prenderghast’s corpse had me in hysterics), ParaNorman is ultimately a story about life, death, forgiveness, and letting go. It may not be a modern-day classic, but it’s worth seeking out.

Rating:

 What did FilmBoy think?

He also thought ParaNorman was good, and he didn’t get scared by any of the action taking place (as a point of reference, he’ll be 10 in April). What caught me happily off-guard was that he laughed at a lot of the same morbid jokes that I did.

Is it suitable for your kids?

ParaNorman is rated PG for “scary action and images, thematic elements, some rude humor and language.”
Violence/Scariness: There are many scary images and sequences, especially the presence of the witch in her different forms. The zombies are ghoulish, but are more morbid than menacing. Alvin bullies Norman on several occasions. There’s mild gun violence when the zombies hit town, including a woman blowing a shotgun blast through the judge zombie’s torso. As mentioned earlier, the reason behind the witch’s curse is pretty dark and almost horrifying in its own right.
Language: There are several instances of PG-level language, including “damnation,” “you suck,” “he sucks,” “friggin’,” “the F word,” “boobs,” “jackass,” and “hell, yeah.”
Adult situations: Alvin pinches Courtney’s butt out of frame. A male supporting character mentions his “boyfriend” in passing.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Our FilmMother enjoyed ParaNorman, feeling much sympathy for put-upon, misunderstood Norman but also a bit repulsed at some of the morbid humor.

I can’t get enough of this song played over the end credits of ParaNorman,

“Little Ghost” by The White Stripes:

ParaNorman
* Directors: Chris Butler, Sam Fell
* Screenwriter: Chris Butler
* Stars: Kodi Smit-McPhee, Anna Kendrick, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Tucker Albrizzi, Casey Affleck, Leslie Mann, Jeff Garlin, Elaine Stritch, Bernard Hill, Jodelle Ferland, Tempestt Bledsoe, Alex Borstein, John Goodman
* MPAA Rating: PG


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Wreck-It Ralph (2012)

WHAT IF YOU WORKED at the same job for 30 years, with no change in your routine or position, and no acknowledgement from your co-workers – ever? Would you look to break free and find a better life?

That’s the premise of Wreck-It Ralph, Disney’s 52nd animated feature film. Tired of smashing buildings for 30 years as the bad guy in the arcade game Fix-It Felix, Jr., Ralph (John C. Reilly) leaves and explores other games in his arcade, in search of being a hero. After stealing the medal from the first-person shoot-‘em-up Hero’s Duty, Ralph frantically escapes and lands in the racing game Sugar Rush, with Felix (Jack McBrayer) and Hero’s Duty’s Sergeant Calhoun (Jane Lynch) in hot pursuit.

Gamers from Generation X and younger will drool over the abundance of game titles and characters that pop up in the first act of Wreck-It Ralph, especially during the 30-year time lapse of Ralph’s arcade (titles go buzzing by) and the early scenes of Game Central Station, where characters from arcade games old and new cross paths on their way home from work.

What’s largely missing from the second act of Wreck-It Ralph is what Pixar seems to have sucked from Disney’s films over the last two decades: character development. For quite a while, the film is largely plot-driven, as we sit back and watch Ralph jump around the various video game worlds and meet all walks of digitized life, including Vanellope (Sarah Silverman), a glitchy little girl from Sugar Rush who has dreams of being a racing champion. As two kindred misfits, she and Ralph make a deal to help each other get what they want, and the action continues…

…until the third act, which begins with Ralph doing something that seems devastatingly cruel to Vanellope, yet makes us leap to where we should be in terms of caring for the characters. We hope Ralph will learn the truth about Sugar Rush’s mysterious past and help Vanellope achieve her dreams before the finale, which culminates in a one-two punch of a fantastic car race (including a huge reveal of the film’s true villain) coupled with the impending destruction of Sugar Rush from a horde of giant cyber-bugs Ralph accidentally brought in from Hero’s Duty.

Looking back on all the buzz that preceded Wreck-It Ralph’s release, there was no way for it to live up to the hype. But it still delivers in terms of pure entertainment. Some name-calling and poop jokes aside, it’s hopefully another solid step in Disney’s emergence from Pixar’s shadow and back to the quality animated storytelling they hinted at with Bolt a few years back.

Rating:

What did FilmBoy and Jack-Jack think?

FilmBoy loved Wreck-It Ralph – he and I couldn’t stop talking about it as we left the theater. His affection for video games and their characters surely played a part. Jack-Jack thought the film was “weird,” but couldn’t elaborate. The plot details and continuous action may have been a lot for him to process as a 6-year-old.

Is it suitable for your kids?

Wreck-It Ralph is rated PG for “some rude humor and mild action violence.”
Violence/Scariness: Heavily armed soldiers shoot at giant cyber-bugs, some of which grow machine gun arms and shoot (no one is hurt). A character comically pulls a zombie's heart out of his chest, then puts it back. In another comic scene, Calhoun punches Felix several times, giving him black eyes, broken teeth, and bruises (they heal immediately when he touches his face with his magic hammer). In a brief flashback, a character is eaten by an alien bug. Calhoun and Ralph occasionally punch others and destroy their surroundings. Vanellope drives her car into a wall and comically spits out a tooth (no blood). Mean girls tear apart Vanellope’s car, which Ralph helps rebuild but then destroys himself because he’s told that racing it could kill her (she sobs and calls him names). The film’s villain makes a final appearance in a mutated form that could be scary to young children. A little girl transforms into a princess and tells other girls they will be executed for being mean; she then says it was a joke. There’s talk about characters dying permanently outside of their own video games; a few scenes show characters in life-threatening situations.
Language: There’s frequent use of insults and name-calling, including “I hate you," "shut your chew hole," "pussy willows," "doody," "numbskull," “moron,” “idiot,” “dumb,” “stupid,” “diaper-baby,” “stinky brain,” and my personal favorite, “Miss Fartfeathers.” Rude humor includes mentions of “puke,” “butt load,” and a running joke about Hero’s Duty (as in “doody.”).
Alcohol: A character pours himself a martini. A scene takes place in a game called Tapper, in which characters drink root beer from beer mugs. Characters are also briefly seen drinking at a dance party.
Adult situations: Two characters exchange a passionate kiss in two different scenes.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Even if she’s not a serious gamer, she’ll love Wreck-It Ralph: endearing characters on a fantastic adventure, with several tender moments served up along the way. (Also, Disney, if you’re reading this: My wife said she would love to play the game Sugar Rush for real. Get on that, please.)

In one of these hands, I’ve got Q*Bert.

Go ahead…guess.

I SAID GUESS!!!

Wreck-It Ralph
* Directors: Rich Moore
* Screenwriters: Phil Johnston, Jennifer Lee
* Stars: John C. Reilly, Jack McBrayer, Jane Lynch, Sarah Silverman
* MPAA Rating: PG


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Westworld (1973)

MENTION THE NAME “MICHAEL CRICHTON,” and most people think of the best-selling author of thrillers such as The Andromeda Strain, Congo, Disclosure, and Rising Sun.

But in the early 1970s – after witnessing the animatronic people at Disneyland’s “Pirates of the Caribbean” ride – Crichton wrote and directed his feature-film debut, Westworld.

In the near-future of Westworld, people can spend $1,000 a day to visit Delos, an adult-themed amusement park where guests live out their wildest fantasies. Comprised of three worlds (Medieval World, Roman World, and Westworld), Delos is inhabited by robots who look, act, sound, and even bleed just like the human guests. Like Disney World, Delos is supported by an elaborate underground control center, where a staff of technicians controls the robots and the scenarios, and provides repair to robots damaged in the action taking place.

It’s Westworld where our leading men are headed: manly man John (James Brolin) and nebbish Peter (Richard Benjamin). Once they arrive, the two have lots of fun with saloon whiskey, loose women, bar fights, and jailbreaks. They even engage in shootouts, often with a steely-eyed troublemaker dressed in black (Yul Brynner). Everything’s good-time, rootin’-tootin’ fun – until the robots start malfunctioning and killing the guests.

Throughout Westworld, Crichton teases at the potential breakdown of the Delos parks: the supervisor (Alan Oppenheimer) voices his concern, a malfunctioning robo-rattlesnake bites John, and a Medieval World wench (Anne Randall) refuses a guest’s seduction. These minor glitches soon develop into to deadly attacks on the guests, with a fatal swordfight in Medieval World, a violent riot in Roman World, and Brynner’s gunslinger coldly gunning down a Westworld guest.

While Brynner is in Westworld for less than half its running time, his robotic gunslinger steals the film. In an homage to his character from The Magnificent Seven (he even wears the same outfit), Brynner portrays the perfect blend of ice-cold killer and calculating humanoid, with a piercing stare made extra chilling by Brynner sporting light-reflecting contact lenses.


After shooting one of our leading men dead, Westworld’s gunslinger methodically pursues the survivor through all three Delos parks – thumbs hooked in his gun belt, eyes fixed on his target, and using thermal vision (shown in POV) more than a decade before Predator.

Yes, Westworld has its plot holes, it dips into camp on occasion, and a lot of the dialogue (especially between Brolin and Benjamin) is disposable. But it’s still a very entertaining film that’s essentially the blueprint for Crichton’s more ambitious themepark-run-amok story: his 1990 novel Jurassic Park.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

Westworld is rated PG, though if it was released today it may have been PG-13.
Violence/Scariness: Several people and robots are shot or stabbed, with blood pouring from the wounds; a robot is set on fire and fully engulfed in flames; John and Peter shoot a robotic rattlesnake; the Delos technicians suffocate after the park’s breakdown cuts off their air supply.
Sex/Nudity: John and Peter sleep with robot hookers at the saloon; one of the hookers is shown topless from the back.
Profanity/Language: Two occurrences of “God damn it.”

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Westworld feels like a film you’d enjoy by yourself, with friends, or possibly with your tween or teen son. Unless your FilmMother is a sci-fi fan, or a Crichton fan who wants to see his filmmaking debut, I’m guessing she’ll pass.

Boy, have we got a vacation for YOU!

 Westworld
* Director: Michael Crichton
* Screenwriter: Michael Crichton
* Stars: Richard Benjamin, James Brolin, Yul Brynner, Dick Van Patten, Alan Oppenheimer
* MPAA Rating: PG


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A Turtle’s Tale: Sammy’s Adventures (2010)

AFTER HIS LACKLUSTER ANIMATED FILM Fly Me to The Moon in 2008, director Ben Stassen knew he had to step up his game for his next effort.

And while his follow-up A Turtle’s Tale: Sammy’s Adventures is no masterpiece, it’s lightyears better than Moon. (See what I did there? Lightyears? Moon? It’s a space joke, people.)

A Turtle’s Tale follows the journey of Sammy (voiced by Ben 10’s Yuri Lowenthal), a sea turtle who leaves the beach where he was born and spends the next 50 years exploring the world's oceans -- all while trying to find his first love, a female turtle named Shelly (Gemma Arterton).

Comparisons between A Turtle’s Tale and Finding Nemo are unavoidable and numerous – a sea creature searching the oceans for a missing loved one, meeting all walks (and swims) of life, encountering danger from both sea and man…yet there’s one area for comparison that is in A Turtle’s Tale’s favor: the animation. Stassen’s team has done a superior job of creating an underwater world that’s rich in colors, extremely fluid, and intricately detailed.

Despite this deep, lush world of CGI animation, the themes and characters in A Turtle’s Tale are ironically two-dimensional. All attempts at emotion or depth seem flat and uninspired, Sammy’s many adventures across the sea are less compelling than they should be, and when he finally finds Shelly (what, you thought he wouldn’t?), it’s one of the more anticlimactic reunions between two lost loves in recent memory, turtle or otherwise.

Another turn-off is the heavy-handed environmental message. In addition to fighting foes in the ocean, Sammy battles oil spills, plastic bags, trees being felled in a rain forest, pollution dumped in the ocean, and humans trying to harpoon whales. He even gets a peace sign painted on his shell by a family of neo-hippies he meets in his travels.


In addition to Lowenthal and Arterton, A Turtle’s Tale features celebrity voices by Anthony Anderson as Sammy’s best friend (and fellow turtle) Ray, Tim Curry as a mischievous cat, and Kathy Griffin as a wisecracking mama turtle.

 
A Turtle’s Tale: Sammy’s Adventures is a simple story of one little turtle’s journey through life. Unfortunately, its simplicity is also its downfall. It’s sweet but not sensational, nice but not awesome, watchable but far from a classic.

Not that any of that stopped Stassen: He released A Turtle's Tale 2 earlier this year.

Rating:

What did FilmBoy think?

He gave it 3 stars, saying it was a good movie…but he couldn’t think of anything specifically good about it.

Is it suitable for your kids?

A Turtle’s Tale: Sammy’s Adventures is rated PG for mild peril. Baby turtles are in danger of being picked off by seagulls during their dash from the beach to the ocean; Sammy and Shelly face random perils via a bald eagle, the blades of a tanker, and various predator fish; and whalers attempt to spear a humpback whale. There’s also ongoing discussion of finding a perfect mate, but nothing inappropriate for grade-school kids. Maybe proceed with caution with preschoolers and younger.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

She’ll probably find A Turtle’s Tale cute and harmless, but otherwise unmemorable.

Owwww…getitoff, getitoff, GETITOFF!!

A Turtle’s Tale: Sammy’s Adventures
* Director: Ben Stassen
* Screenwriters: Ben Stassen, Dominic Paris
* Stars: Yuri Lowenthal, Anthony Anderson, Gemma Arterton, Melanie Griffith, Isabelle Fuhrman, Sydney Hope Banner, Ed Begley Jr., Kathy Griffin, Tim Curry, Jenny McCarthy
* MPAA Rating: PG


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