Taken 2 (2012)

THE ORIGINAL TAKEN gave us another reason to like the already likable Liam Neeson: We got to watch him dish out some serious kicking of ass in his quest to rescue his kidnapped daughter.

In Taken 2, we’re reacquainted with Neeson’s overprotective dad and former intelligence operative, Bryan Mills, who’s even more overprotective thanks to the events of the first film, where his teenage daughter Kim (Lost’s Maggie Grace) was kidnapped, drugged, and about to be sold as a sex slave. As Bryan copes with Kim’s new boyfriend (Luke Grimes) and her inability to pass her driver’s test, he invites Kim and his ex-wife Lenore (Famke Janssen) to join him on a security detail-slash-vacation in Istanbul. But soon after they arrive, the vengeful relatives of the kidnappers Bryan killed in the first Taken kidnap Bryan and Lenore, leaving Kim to elude the captors while trying to find and rescue her parents.

Let’s be honest: A large amount of the first Taken’s appeal was to watch Neeson dole out tactical and brutal revenge against the men who took his daughter. Unfortunately, he doesn’t unleash his very particular set of skills on the bad guys until the last 20 minutes of Taken 2. In the meantime, he’s telling Kim what to do via cell phone as he tries to find a way for him and Lenore to escape their captors.

There are also several scenes of incredulity that hamper the film. Neeson’s captors, who have him at gunpoint, wait until he makes and finishes a call with Kim before abducting him. Kim can’t pass her driving test, but she barrels down the narrow streets of Istanbul in a stolen taxi like Jason Bourne. The overuse of musical crescendos to tip off pivotal moments gets annoying, and a bit insulting. And much like how Taken tried to play off 25-year-old Grace as a high school student, it’s now even harder to buy 29-year-old Grace as a soon-to-be college freshman.

Despite the efforts of awesomely named director Olivier Megaton, and returning Taken co-writers Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen, Taken 2 is merely passable and ultimately forgettable. Bottom line, the adventure’s not the same when Neeson’s not the one who’s large and in charge.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

Taken 2's rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, and some sensuality.
Action/Violence: A man is tortured to gather information; there is a lot of hand-to-hand combat; many people are shot; a few people are slashed with knives. There are several intense foot chases and car chases (featuring multiple crashes).
Adult Situations: Kim makes out with her boyfriend, fully clothed.
Language: Several occurrences of “sh*t.”
Alcohol: Bryan and Lenore drink wine in one scene.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Nothing really for her to see here. If pressed, watch the original Taken with her for a better experience, though the theme of child abduction and the intense violence may turn her off.
 

That's a helluva way to skip out on the room bill.

Taken 2
* Director: Olivier Megaton
* Screenwriters: Luc Besson, Robert Mark Kamen
* Stars: Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace, Famke Janssen, Leland Orser, Jon Gries, D.B. Sweeney, Luke Grimes, Rade Serbedzija
* MPAA Rating: PG-13



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Superfights (1995)

SOMETIMES, I WORRY that I won’t see another film worthy of Trashterpiece Theatre. But then along comes a movie like Superfights, and all is right with the world.

“Superfights,” as if I have to tell you, are a type of pro wrestling/martial arts hybrid – “where no one knows the outcome!” the announcer assures us – with Superfighters sporting gimmicky nicknames such as Budokai, Dark Cloud, and Night Stalker. Mega-fan Jack Cody (Brandon Gaines) attends every event, even teaching himself the moves he sees his favorite Superfighters perform. (Conveniently, he works in a warehouse full of mannequins, which he uses as practice dummies.)

After Jack becomes a local celebrity by beating up a trio of would-be muggers, he’s recruited by Superfights president Mr. Sawyer (Keith Vitali) to compete in the ring. Jack trains with Angel (Kelly Gallant), a freakishly muscular female Superfighter who overtly flirts with Jack but may have ulterior motives. Watch in amazement as Angel trains Jack using the latest advancements in 1995 technology, including punching at a stream of light and dodging giant phallic pipes that dart out of the walls.

Oh, I almost forgot: Mr. Sawyer’s Superfights empire might be a front for extortion, drug running, mind control, and murder.

Superfights captures the pure essence of direct-to-video, B-movie action flicks of the mid-‘90s. The B-level acting. The hokey, overly serious training montages. The meathead, be-the-best mentality of the fighters. The gratuitous violence. The melodramatic soundtrack, awash in mid-‘90s synth and squealing guitar riffs. This one’s got it all, set against the martial arts hotbed of…Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

The film also features other ridiculous moments, such as Jack getting attacked by a ninja while jogging in broad daylight – a ninja who, while fleeing, literally tells Jack to “just say no” to the “vitamins” supplied by Angel as part of Jack’s Superfighters regimen.

All that being said, the fight scenes in Superfights are in-sane. Director and fight choreographer Tony Leung gives us dozens of fights featuring rapid-fire exchanges, impressive editing, and over-exaggerated impact with blood, sweat, and spit flying everywhere. It culminates in a multi-fight finale between Cody and Sawyer that’s so amazing, I immediately replayed it once the credits started to roll.

A real-life third-degree black belt, Gaines’ role in Superfights was his first and last in films; he’s now a public speaker, rabbi, and acupuncturist living in California. Gallant, unfortunately, has had her share of run-ins with the law since Superfights, including a wrongful death lawsuit and recent arrests for DUI and probation violation.

Highly entertaining and a candidate for repeat viewing, Superfights delivers the goods in both martial arts action and cheeseballiness – rightfully earning its spot in the Trashterpiece pantheon.

(Bonus: Watch for a brief appearance by wrestling legend Rob Van Dam as a doomed Superfighter. His fight was originally supposed to be much shorter, but the filmmakers were so impressed with his physical abilities that they made his fight longer and took a full day to shoot.)

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

Violence: The Superfights get increasingly violent, leading to bloodied faces and broken bones. Superfighters beat up citizens and two-bit hoods while collecting “protection” money. Several people are beaten to death, many with blood spurting from their mouths. A man is bloodily decapitated by a ceiling fan.
Sex/Nudity: Angel is seen briefly nude from behind as she enters a shower. Jack and Angel share a kiss wearing nothing but bathrobes. Angel makes several overt advances on Jack, with lots of grabbing and groping. Sawyer and Angel are shown getting dressed post-coitus.
Language: “A**hole,” “bulls**t,” “s**t”
Drugs: Superfighters are shown taking Sawyer’s steroid-laced, mind-controlling “vitamins.” A man snorts cocaine.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

If she’s the kind of person who enjoys B-movies and talking back to the screen, but doesn’t mind some violence and bloodshed thrown in the mix, Superfights could be a great film for you to share. Otherwise, check it out yourself or with some friends.

Experience the awesome Superfights trailer,

then try in vain to fight your urge to see the film:

Superfights
* Director: Tony Leung
* Screenwriter: Keith W. Strandberg
* Stars: Brandon Gaines, Feihong Yu, Keith Vitali, Kelly Gallant, Chuck Jeffreys, Cliff Lenderman, Brian Ruth, Patrick Lung-Kong, Karen Bill
* MPAA Rating: PG-13


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So Undercover (2012)

LET’S GET THIS OVER WITH: Miley Cyrus (Bolt) plays a private investigator named Molly (that’s Molly, not Miley) who’s hired by an FBI agent (Jeremy Piven) to protect the daughter of a key mob witness while the daughter is living in a college sorority house. To accomplish this, Molly (not Miley) goes undercover as a student to keep the daughter safe, while trying not to blow her cover or fall for beau-hunk classmate Nicholas (Joshua Bowman).

Whether or not you’ll enjoy – or even tolerate – So Undercover depends on how open you are to believing the FBI would put their trust in a two-bit junior PI to protect the relative of an important government witness. And for someone who’s been assigned to closely protect this relative, Molly spends large amounts of time apart from her as she endures numerous debriefings from Piven’s agent and makes goo-goo eyes at Nicholas.

So Undercover is almost nothing but variations of Molly unknowingly spewing a bunch of inside-speak about her profession, then poorly covering it up with a bimbo-esque declaration. As Molly’s boss, Piven brings more to his role than the film deserves, and it’s a bit sad that this is the kind of work you get after winning three Emmys on Entourage.

Devoid of laughs, charm, or believability, So Undercover is Cyrus’ latest attempt to shake her teenybopper image and play grown-up, complete with parading around in her underwear and occasionally swearing. But her cherubic looks and disturbingly bleach-white teeth betray her attempt at portraying a cynical FBI operative. Cyrus probably feels like she’s got something to prove to make America forget about Hannah Montana, but So Undercover is so not helping.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

So Undercover is rated PG-13 for “mature and suggestive content.” It includes mild profanities peppered throughout, alcohol consumption at a party, several close-ups of girls’ chests and/or cleavage, and random gunplay.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Unless your FilmMother is twelve (and if she is, you’ve got bigger problems), I doubt it.

(*sigh*) Of course they're making me do

Gangnam Style as part of the initiation...

So Undercover
* Director: Tom Vaughan
* Screenwriters: Allan Loeb, Steven Pearl
* Stars: Miley Cyrus, Jeremy Piven, Mike O'Malley, Kelly Osbourne, Eloise Mumford, Megan Park, Lauren McKnight, Autumn Reeser, Matthew Settle
* MPAA Rating: PG-13



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Westworld (1973)

MENTION THE NAME “MICHAEL CRICHTON,” and most people think of the best-selling author of thrillers such as The Andromeda Strain, Congo, Disclosure, and Rising Sun.

But in the early 1970s – after witnessing the animatronic people at Disneyland’s “Pirates of the Caribbean” ride – Crichton wrote and directed his feature-film debut, Westworld.

In the near-future of Westworld, people can spend $1,000 a day to visit Delos, an adult-themed amusement park where guests live out their wildest fantasies. Comprised of three worlds (Medieval World, Roman World, and Westworld), Delos is inhabited by robots who look, act, sound, and even bleed just like the human guests. Like Disney World, Delos is supported by an elaborate underground control center, where a staff of technicians controls the robots and the scenarios, and provides repair to robots damaged in the action taking place.

It’s Westworld where our leading men are headed: manly man John (James Brolin) and nebbish Peter (Richard Benjamin). Once they arrive, the two have lots of fun with saloon whiskey, loose women, bar fights, and jailbreaks. They even engage in shootouts, often with a steely-eyed troublemaker dressed in black (Yul Brynner). Everything’s good-time, rootin’-tootin’ fun – until the robots start malfunctioning and killing the guests.

Throughout Westworld, Crichton teases at the potential breakdown of the Delos parks: the supervisor (Alan Oppenheimer) voices his concern, a malfunctioning robo-rattlesnake bites John, and a Medieval World wench (Anne Randall) refuses a guest’s seduction. These minor glitches soon develop into to deadly attacks on the guests, with a fatal swordfight in Medieval World, a violent riot in Roman World, and Brynner’s gunslinger coldly gunning down a Westworld guest.

While Brynner is in Westworld for less than half its running time, his robotic gunslinger steals the film. In an homage to his character from The Magnificent Seven (he even wears the same outfit), Brynner portrays the perfect blend of ice-cold killer and calculating humanoid, with a piercing stare made extra chilling by Brynner sporting light-reflecting contact lenses.


After shooting one of our leading men dead, Westworld’s gunslinger methodically pursues the survivor through all three Delos parks – thumbs hooked in his gun belt, eyes fixed on his target, and using thermal vision (shown in POV) more than a decade before Predator.

Yes, Westworld has its plot holes, it dips into camp on occasion, and a lot of the dialogue (especially between Brolin and Benjamin) is disposable. But it’s still a very entertaining film that’s essentially the blueprint for Crichton’s more ambitious themepark-run-amok story: his 1990 novel Jurassic Park.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

Westworld is rated PG, though if it was released today it may have been PG-13.
Violence/Scariness: Several people and robots are shot or stabbed, with blood pouring from the wounds; a robot is set on fire and fully engulfed in flames; John and Peter shoot a robotic rattlesnake; the Delos technicians suffocate after the park’s breakdown cuts off their air supply.
Sex/Nudity: John and Peter sleep with robot hookers at the saloon; one of the hookers is shown topless from the back.
Profanity/Language: Two occurrences of “God damn it.”

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Westworld feels like a film you’d enjoy by yourself, with friends, or possibly with your tween or teen son. Unless your FilmMother is a sci-fi fan, or a Crichton fan who wants to see his filmmaking debut, I’m guessing she’ll pass.

Boy, have we got a vacation for YOU!

 Westworld
* Director: Michael Crichton
* Screenwriter: Michael Crichton
* Stars: Richard Benjamin, James Brolin, Yul Brynner, Dick Van Patten, Alan Oppenheimer
* MPAA Rating: PG


Rent Westworld from Netflix >>

Iron Man 2 (2010)

LIKE MOST MOVIEGOERS (and comic book fans), I was happily surprised at the greatness of 2008’s Iron Man.

On paper, it shouldn’t have worked: a movie starring a formerly uninsurable actor as a B-level comic superhero, directed by the guy who made Elf. But Iron Man was a worldwide critical and financial smash, so a sequel was simply a question of when, not if, it would be made.

And like many other superhero sequels, Iron Man 2 stacks its deck with more characters, both heroes and villains, as if to laugh in the face of those sequels that sucked when they did the same thing. (Batman Forever, anyone?)

Plot:

Ever since playboy millionaire magnate Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) revealed he’s Iron Man at the end of the first film, he’s amassed a rockstar-like following by the public, while congressmen and the US military demand he hand over the Iron Man suit in the name of national security.

With his newfound fame and success as Iron Man, Stark is even cockier and more reckless than before – throwing his weight around and frustrating both the government (including buddy Lt. Col. James Rhodes (Don Cheadle)) and his co-workers (especially newly appointed Stark Industries CEO Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow)).

Watching all of Stark’s shenanigans from Russia is Ivan Vanko (Mickey Rourke), who has a score he intends to settle with the Stark family. Further complicating things is smarmy government weapons contractor Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell), who’s jealous of Stark’s success. And to top it all off, the mini reactor that gives both Iron Man and Stark life (Stark’s heart was severely injured in the first film) is slowly killing him by turning his blood toxic.

Critique:

Much like Tony Stark, Iron Man 2 lacks a true heart. Despite a handful of explosive action scenes and hero/villain posturing, there’s something missing that makes it more of a passive, detached experience than it should be. Not that director Jon Favreau and screenwriter Justin Thoreaux don’t try to make things engaging and deep, including Stark and Vanko wrestling with daddy issues during their sins-of-the-fathers plotline.

And a warning to anyone who (like me) geeked out at the early footage of Rourke as Whiplash, as he tore things up at the Monaco Grand Prix: Savor what you saw, because that’s all you get of Whiplash until the finale. In between, Rourke is simply Ivan Vanko, a thug with a physics degree who helps Justin Hammer create military drones to outperform Iron Man and make him obsolete.

On the plus side, most attempts at humor succeed. And things get blowed up real good during the action sequences (the finale involving Iron Man, War Machine, an army of killer robot drones, and Whiplash 2.0 is off the hook). But in the end, Iron Man 2 seems to be missing an intangible modicum of fun that made the original such a blast.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

Iron Man 2 is rated PG-13 for “intense sci-fi action and violence, and some language.” Some examples:
* Vanko breaks a prison guard’s neck
* Lots of explosions, comic-book fighting/violence, and a mayhem-laden finale in which a main character dies in a fiery bomb blast
* A drunk Stark celebrating at his birthday party
* Innuendos and profanities

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

If she’s a fan of Iron Man or Downey, then probably. Even so, wait for the rental.

Ess not to lett…to vip it…vip it goot.

Iron Man
* Director: Jon Favreau
* Screenwriter: Justin Theroux
* Stars: Robert Downey, Jr., Mickey Rourke, Don Cheadle, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sam Rockwell, Scarlett Johansson, Samuel L. Jackson, Garry Shandling
* MPAA Rating: PG-13

Valentine’s Day (2010)

CLICHÉ (n): a hackneyed situation, characterization, or theme.

Example: For Valentine’s Day, FilmFather and his wife went to see the movie Valentine’s Day.

I guess that could also qualify as redundant. Anyway, I had almost convinced her to see Avatar, but ultimately she decided on a romantic comedy, rather than wear 3-D glasses for nearly three hours and watch what some naysayers have called Dancing with Smurfs.

Plot:
Valentine’s Day follows about two dozen Los Angelinos on February 14th, many of whose lives intersect as the day progresses, including a florist (Ashton Kutcher), his girlfriend (Jessica Alba) whom he proposes to that morning, his family-man co-worker and neighbor (George Lopez), his co-worker (Jennifer Garner) who’s unknowingly dating a married man (Patrick Dempsey), a frustrated TV sports anchor (Jamie Foxx), an office worker (Anne Hathaway) who supplements her income as a phone sex operator, her hard-as-nails sports-agent boss (Queen Latifah), the office worker’s bumpkin boyfriend (Topher Grace), an over-the-hill quarterback (Eric Dane), his PR person (Jessica Biel) who hates Valentine’s Day, a businessman (Bradley Cooper) and a returning war veteran (Julia Roberts) sharing a 14-hour flight to LA, an older married couple (Hector Elizondo and Shirley MacLaine), and their lovelorn grandson (Bryce Robinson).

Critique:

Despite my wariness and lack of enthusiasm entering the theater, I actually wound up liking Valentine’s Day. Don’t get me wrong, I won’t be busting it out on DVD months from now with buddies of mine, but it definitely made for a fun night out at the movies with my wife. I actually laughed out loud several times. And I’m not ashamed to admit it.

The cast does a commendable job of keeping up with Katherine Fugate’s script, which is smart, funny, and sensitive in all the right places. Kudos also to Fugate for keeping the many storylines tight and well-intertwined…and for being able to make phone sex sound PG-13-rated.

That being said, Valentine’s Day probably could have been just as entertaining with a few less characters to follow (the two teenage storylines, featuring couples Emma Roberts / Carter Jenkins and Taylor Swift / Taylor Lautner, are successfully played more for laughs than sentiment). And with a running time of two hours, my wife and I eventually started keeping score on whose storylines had to be closed before the movie could finally end.

Valentine’s Day is fun without being ridiculous, sweet without being schmaltzy. If you and your significant other had to push out your Valentine’s Day plans for some reason, or even if you’re just looking for a good date movie, this flick will fit the bill.

Rating:

Is it appropriate for my kids?

Valentine’s Day is rated PG-13 for adult situations and language, including some brief partial male nudity and Hathaway’s skills as the aforementioned phone sex operator (which she performs at least a half dozen times during the film).

Will your FilmMother like it?

Yeah, no doubt. Don’t be surprised if you enjoy it, too. In fact, here’s your chance to proactively suggest a date movie that she may actually want to see. Earn points where you can, my fellow men.

He's got it bad, got it bad, got it baaad...
he's hot for Garner.

Valentine’s Day
* Director: Garry Marshall
* Screenwriter: Katherine Fugate
* Stars: Ashton Kutcher, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Garner, Patrick Dempsey, George Lopez, Jamie Foxx, Anne Hathaway, Queen Latifah, Topher Grace, Eric Dane, Jessica Biel, Bradley Cooper, Julia Roberts, Hector Elizondo, Shirley MacLaine, Bryce Robinson, Emma Roberts, Carter Jenkins, Taylor Swift, Taylor Lautner
* MPAA Rating: PG-13 (adult situations and language, some sexual material and brief partial nudity)

Avatar (2009)

SO, I HAVEN’T BEEN to the theater to see a movie in a while. Anything out there making waves?

Oh yeah, that movie from that director. The movie that just became the highest grossing film of all time, toppling…the previous movie from that same director.

I know I’m probably late to the game with my review of James Cameron’s Avatar, even if it’s only been in theaters for barely six weeks. And I initially wasn’t going to review it, but just see it to be part of what’s being called cinematic history by some.

But then I left the theater, came right home, and started typing…

Plot:
On the planet Pandora, a native race of blue, ten-foot-tall, human-esque creatures called the Na’vi live in a giant tree atop the planet’s largest (and only) deposit of the rich, valuable mineral Unobtainium. A team of humans from Earth have descended on Pandora to mine the Unobtainium, but the Na’vi have refused to move or cooperate. Instead, a dedicated scientist (Sigourney Weaver) is heading up a peaceful solution: creating life-size Na’vi “avatars” from their DNA, then having humans bond with the avatars via brainwaves and enter the Na’vi world to communicate with them. Bristling at the chance to resolve the standoff a lot quicker (read: more violently) are a gung-ho, bloodthirsty colonel (Stephen Lang) and an all-about-numbers bureaucrat (Giovanni Ribisi) running the operation.

One of the people enrolled in the Avatar program is paralyzed Marine Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) – who, upon entering the world of the Na’vi, is guided and taught by Neytiri (Zoe Saldana), a female Na’vi member and daughter of their tribal leaders. Sully’s orders are to infiltrate the Na’vi and learn their ways so the Marines can launch a successful strike if needed, but as his feelings grow for the Neytiri and the Na’vi way of life, where will his loyalties lie?

Critique:

There seem to be three main things people talk about regarding Avatar, so I’ll address them first:

1. The 3-D experience. The 3-D aspect is quite compelling (though admittedly, my only basis for comparison for movie theater 3-D is 1983’s Jaws 3-D). While not critical to viewing the film, it provides both subtle and grandiose levels of depth, from Marines getting a lecture in a mess hall to the action sequences on Pandora.

2. The special effects. Believe what you’ve heard about Avatar’s FX: They’re truly phenomenal. The scenery is awe-inspiring, providing an alternate world that’s rich in color and design. The Na’vi are a milestone in moviemaking: Every body movement, every facial expression and tic, is truly lifelike. (Cameron had the actors wear motion capture devices, including high-tech cameras capturing every move of their face.)

3. The environmental message. Cameron is a self-described treehugger, and it’s impossible to ignore that label as Avatar unfolds. Many of the creatures on Pandora are deliberate derivatives of creatures on Earth (no doubt to make us relate to the similar animals here at home). And when Neytiri teaches Sully how to tame and ride the wild animals of Pandora, she speaks of the literal “bond” one must make with their animal, where a Na’vi intertwines part of its body with that of the creature. (This “bond with nature” metaphor is impossible to miss.) And c’mon, the place the Na’vi call home is a giant, iconic tree, for Pete’s sake.

With Avatar, Cameron once again creates strong female characters in his film – the fearless Neytiri, her mother and Na’vi spiritual leader Moat (CCH Pounder), head scientist Weaver, and Marine chopper pilot Michelle Rodriguez.

Like other Cameron films, the quality of his script trails that of his direction: It’s very good, but some of Worthington’s narrative sounds like it comes from a dime-store pulp novel, and Cameron has characters say clichéd lines like “I didn’t sign up for this sh*t” and, when a main character is gravely wounded, declares, “Well, that’s going to ruin my day.” Also, the precious mineral the humans want under the Na’vi home tree is called Unobtainium – because it’s so unobtainable, get it?

In addition, several aspects of Avatar’s plot and framework seem cribbed from other films, including Cameron’s own body of work. The plot largely resembles Dances with Wolves or Pocahontas (Native American actor Wes Studi even plays the strongest Na’vi warrior), and the story structure is nothing new: It’s the old “I came to your world to do something evil, but then I fell in love with you and even though I ruined everything, you have to believe I have true feelings for you” story. (That architecture can be found anywhere from the latest ho-hum romantic comedy to a Very Special Episode of a sitcom.) Regarding Cameron’s own films, you can see shades of The Abyss (scientists want to communicate with a life form, military guys want to destroy it) and Aliens (Avatar’s giant military robots commandeered by the Marines are simply the next generation of the robo-forklifts Weaver’s Ripley used to defeat the alien queen bee).

Despite these debits, Cameron does offer a couple of twists you don’t expect. Some things you think are “givens” are not – and to Cameron’s credit he pushes them through, taking you out of your comfort zone and gearing you up for the climactic battle sequence, which truly has to be seen to be believed.

Avatar is essential viewing for anyone who takes their movies seriously. Whether you love it, like it, hate it, think it’s too long or too preachy, you’ll be a better film-goer from the experience.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

Avatar is rated PG-13: There are many profanities (no F-bombs), some intense action and war sequences, and the body count rises substantially during the final battle. I saw a mother in the theater with three kids – I’m guessing ages 10, 8, and 6 – and the 6-year-old girl sat curled up in her mother’s lap the whole time, not even bothering to put on the 3-D glasses. I’d say tweens and older should be okay (tween boys will probably eat up all the fantasyland action and Marine weaponry).

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Like I said earlier: If you’re a true movie fan, Avatar is essential viewing. Even if it doesn’t become one of her all-time favorite films, you owe it to her to make sure she sees it at least once.

Man...I hope my HMO covers this.

Avatar
* Director: James Cameron
* Screenwriter: James Cameron
* Stars: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver, Stephen Lang, Michelle Rodriguez
* MPAA Rating: PG-13

Drag Me To Hell (2009)

I’VE BEEN A FAN OF filmmaker Sam Raimi since seeing the original Evil Dead at age 15 – a low-budget, overly gory scarefest that had me and three of my fellow freshmen friends jumping out of our seats.

But since then (and following two Evil Dead sequels), Raimi went mainstream with non-horror films such as For Love of the Game, the Spider-Man trilogy, and the underrated Darkman and A Simple Plan – leaving fans of Raimi’s horror work to ask: Can he still bring it?

With Drag Me To Hell, they would find out…

Plot:
Loan officer Christine Brown (Alison Lohman) wants desperately to be promoted to assistant manager at her bank. So when a creepy old gypsy (Lorna Raver) comes in and asks her to stop the bank from foreclosing on her home, Christine decides to play tough and say no. She’s later attacked by the woman (in a deliciously outrageous sequence), who puts a curse on her – one that is lead by a demon who torments the accursed for three days, and on the fourth day drags them to…well, y’know.

Critique:

From Drag Me To Hell’s brief yet terrifying opening sequence, Raimi lets you know he’s still got it, and he’s not wasting time. His signature gore-meets-slapstick is splattered across the film, with a large heaping of squirmy, over-the-top gross-out moments. (In one scene, Raimi gets so cartoonish he literally drops an anvil on a character’s head.)

That being said, Raimi also does a great job using classic old-school methods for scares: a house on a hill at night, strange noises in the distance, creaking doors and floorboards, thunder and lightning, etc.

Music plays a key part to many of DMTH’s scary scenes. The score by Christopher Young uses a lot of the familiar piercing, staccato violins Raimi featured in the original Evil Dead.

Lohman seems a bit lightweight for everything that’s going on, not really rising to the material and coming off more like a scared teenager than a young professional. Justin Long does fine as the obligatory skeptical-then-concerned boyfriend. But neither of things matter, because it’s the movie that’s truly the star.

While the first hour of DMTH is relentlessly entertaining, the last act sputters a bit. A séance to bring forth the demon borderlines on the absurd (a talking goat? Really?), and you can see the ending coming a mile away (think envelopes).

Drag Me To Hell is available on DVD today, October 20. If you miss Raimi’s horror hijinks, or you’re looking for a heaping dose of jumps and scares for your Halloween viewing, check it out. If you doubt whether good PG-13 horror is possible – and whether Raimi can still bring the scary-crazy – look no further than this.

Rating:

Will your kids want to watch it?

• Your kids may tell you (and themselves) that they love scary movies, but keep in mind that Drag Me To Hell is rated a “hard” PG-13. (Even I jumped at least three times while watching it.) There’s an abundance of truly scary scenes and visions, including demonic possession, projectile vomiting (of cockroaches, in one instance), abuse of a corpse, and one animal sacrifice (albeit largely off-screen). Oh, and there’s some mild profanity, if everything above isn’t enough.
• In short: Teens? Should be fine. Tweens? Eh, use your judgment. Children? No way.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Wow, tough one. My wife is terrified of anything to do with Hell, the devil, or his minions, so there’s no way I’d convince her to watch this. But if your better half enjoys getting the Hades scared out of her, Drag Me To Hell is a great pick.

I said turn LEFT!

Drag Me To Hell
• Director: Sam Raimi
• Screenwriter: Ivan Raimi, Sam Raimi
• Stars: Alison Lohman, Justin Long, Lorna Raver, Dileep Rao, Adriana Barraza
• MPAA Rating: PG-13 (sequences of horror violence, terror, disturbing images and language)


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