Dumbo (1941)

IF YOU READ OR HEAR anything about Dumbo, one of Disney’s first full-length animated films, it’s almost always heralded as a family classic.

Well, after watching Dumbo with Dash, I’m still trying to figure out what exactly makes this film a “family” classic. Because to me, it was the most jarring, depressing Disney film I’ve ever seen.

Now, before you flame me in the comments (do people still say “flame”?), let me present several examples to defend my statement that Dumbo is not the warm, fun family film everybody remembers it to be:

• The opening-scene trauma of a flock of storks dropping off babies to every animal at the circus – except Mrs. Jumbo, Dumbo’s future mama. (Realizing his mistake, the stork soon returns with a baby for her.)
• The group of cruel, gossipy lady elephants who talk viciously about Mrs. Jumbo and her newborn, especially after they see his enormous ears: “His disgrace is our own shame.” “I wouldn’t eat at the same bale of hay of him.” “Pretend you don’t see him.”
• Oh, by the way, “Dumbo” is a derogatory nickname given to him by one of the gossips, after he reveals his huge ears. (He had been previously named “Jumbo Jr.” by his mommy.)
• The incessant taunting and teasing of Dumbo by, well, everybody but his mother and Timothy Q. Mouse (Edward Brophy).
• Mrs. Jumbo is caged and labeled “MAD ELEPHANT” after (justifiably) rampaging and attacking a snotty circus-goer who teases Dumbo.
• Let’s not forget the extended sequence where Dumbo and Timothy get drunk on a bucket of water accidentally spiked with champagne, which includes them seeing pink elephants and other marching, dancing, shape-shifting creatures.
• The cigar-chomping, borderline-racist caricatures of the flock of crows (including one named, I kid you not, Jim Crow) who heckle Dumbo and Timothy after the duo wakes up in a tree following their drunken antics.
• The heartbreaking reunion between Mrs. Jumbo and Dumbo, where she can’t see him through her cage, but can only feel him with her trunk (cue “Baby Mine” and crying by anyone watching).

And to cap it all off, I’ll make a small request: Quick, think of Dumbo. What’s he doing? Flying, right. Well, guess what? He doesn’t fly until there’s less than 10 minutes left in the movie. Let me repeat that: The iconic image most people have of Dumbo is something he does with less than 10 minutes left in the film. In fact, Dumbo’s moment in the big-top spotlight showing off his flying skills happens with only three minutes to go!

It’s like another Disney classic, The Sword in the Stone, where the one image people remember is Arthur pulling the sword out of the stone – which (spoiler alert!) happens in the last 5 minutes of that movie.

Despite all my aforementioned bashing, there are some appealing aspects to Dumbo. The scenes where Mrs. Jumbo and Dumbo bond and play are endearing, and Timothy’s attempts to be his friend are humorous. And okay, the clown firemen bits were pretty funny, and they had Dash and I both laughing.

Look, I’m not saying Dumbo is an awful film. But if I’m rating it based on the fact that it’s viewed and cherished as a kid-friendly classic, then this pic about an airborne pachyderm should be grounded.

Post-script: When Timothy sees Dumbo fly, he realizes where Dumbo fits into the circus show: as the closing act. And he shouts, “Dumbo, you’re a climax!” I quickly had to turn my immature chuckle into a coughing fit to prevent having to explain why that line was so funny to Daddy.

Rating: 1.5 stars (out of 5).

What did Dash think?

Dash did seem to genuinely like Dumbo. He chuckled quite a bit during Timothy’s antics, and giggled several times at all the merriment during Dumbo and Timothy’s drunken stupor. He had some thoughts on the opening stork scene and Mrs. Jumbo (“Why didn’t a baby come for her?”), as well as the group of crows busting on Dumbo and Timothy (“I hate them”).

Will you FilmMother want to watch it?

For nostalgic reasons, probably. And again, Dumbo is not a bad film. To me, it’s just a bit dated in terms of what’s considered (to use a well-worn cliché) a film for the whole family.


Dumbo
* Director: Ben Sharpsteen
* Screenwriters: Joe Grant, Dick Huemer
* Stars: Verna Felton, Edward Brophy, Sterling Holloway, Noreen Gammill, Herman Bing
* MPAA Rating: G


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Rambo (2008)

I FELT COMPELLED to watch Rambo because of the polarized opinions I had read and heard. Critics lambasted it, while most guys I know said it was the bloodiest, most violent bit of fun they’d seen in a long, long time.

Plot:
• The country of Burma has endured decades of civil war (Rambo opens with real, horrific news footage of the civil unrest). The killing of monks, farmers, and families, plus the abduction of boys from those families, who are then forced by their captors to become soldiers.
• 20 years have passed since the last Rambo movie, the ridiculous (even by the series’ standards) Rambo III. We now find John Rambo in Thailand, living in some sort of shantytown village, catching cobras to sell at the local market.
• Rambo’s approached by a group from Christ’s Church of Colorado, who want him to take them up-river into Burma in his boat so they can provide relief and change to the oppressed people there. He declines, telling the group’s leader that, since the team is going in without weapons, they’re “not changing anything.”
• After some convincing by team member Sara (Julie Benz), Rambo agrees to take them into Burma. But once they reach their destination, Rambo is dismissed by the team’s leader, who says they’ll find another way back down the river.
• Soon after Rambo leaves, the village is attacked and completely decimated by Burmese militants. Nearly everyone is killed in brutal, unflinching displays, including women and children. Of the original relief team, only a handful of them (including Sara) survive and are captured.
• Back in Thailand, Rambo later learns that the team he took to Burma has been missing for 10 days. The church’s pastor asks Rambo to take a group of mercenaries to the spot where the team was dropped off, in hopes of locating them and bringing them back.

I won’t go into the rest of the plot, except to say that the mercenary team gets separated, and several of them are killed – giving Rambo the green light to release unholy hell on the Burmese militants.

Critique:
• It was satisfying to see Rambo as part of a unit, and not a one-man killing machine…well, up to a point, at least.
• There are several “DAMN!” moments of Rambo-ness: ripping out of throats…bodies flying onto land mines and back into the air as interchangeable parts…turning a soldier into hamburger at close range with a mounted gun turret…
• The abuse of the Burmese natives is hard to watch: Children are killed, women and a young boy are raped (albeit largely off-screen), and several natives are shown lynched or beheaded.
• The ending tacks on the sweeping music, long stares, and dips a bit into Velveeta.

Rambo is a slice of down-and-dirty, 77-minute mayhem (including an inexplicable 10 minutes of closing credits). At its core, it’s actually a pretty decent action yarn, with sympathetic characters, loathsome ones, and large amounts of brutal injustice to fill you with enough indignation to root for Rambo…and the chaotic bloodbath he unleashes.

In the end, I’m still torn as to how to rate Rambo:

Is it gratuitous? Yes.
Is it exploitative? Yes again.
Is it art? Hell no.
Is it manly, primal, and awesome? Yes. Yes it is.

Rating:
1 star
as a gratuitous, graphically brutal,
ultra-violent film with no artistic merit.
---
4 stars
as a manly, awesome, blow-‘em-up, kill-‘em-all movie.

Will your kids want to watch it?

Your kids probably know Rambo as an ‘80s icon (or punchline?), and their curiosity may be piqued with this new entry in the series. But no way in hell should they see this film. There’s so much mayhem and carnage happening on-screen, it’s hard to process at times. Definitely something to shield them from until high school, maybe even till they’re upperclassmen.

Will your FilmMother like it?

Highly, highly doubtful. Even if she thinks it’d be a kick to revisit Rambo on an ironic level, the level of realistic violence in Rambo is not for the faint of heart. If she still persists, you can’t say you (and I) didn’t warn her.

"I used to have a huge career. Now, it's about this big."

Rambo
* Director: Sylvester Stallone
* Screenwriter: Sylvester Stallone
* Stars: Sylvester Stallone, Julie Benz, Ken Howard, Matthew Marsden
* MPAA Rating: R (strong graphic bloody violence, sexual assaults, grisly images and language)


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The Legend of Sasquatch (2006)

AS A CHILD OF THE '70S, I was privy to several pop-culture phenomena – one of the biggies being the fascination with Bigfoot, aka Sasquatch (the Loch Ness Monster was a close second). He was everywhere, from magazines to news reports to The Six Million Dollar Man to cheap-and-fast movies (one of which I confessed my fears about to the guys at Kindertrauma).

So when I saw there was a family film called The Legend of Sasquatch, I felt compelled – nay, obligated – to bring it home for Dash and I to watch.

Plot:
• Little Maggie and big sister Khristy (voiced by real-life sisters Blaire & Jewel Restaneo) fly with single parent Dad (William Hurt) to their new home – a cabin in the woods near a man-made dam where Dad will be working (Mom died recently, but we’re not told how). During the flight, Maggie wonders if they’ll see Bigfoot during their stay.
• One night, Maggie is woken by rustling outside her window, where she catches a fleeting glimpse of Baby Sasquatch hauling hairy butt after gathering pine cones.
• After a couple more nighttime near-misses, Maggie finally meets Baby Sasquatch after luring him into their storage shed with a trail of pine cones. She befriends Baby and his mama, much to the disbelief of his sister and dad (as in, they don’t believe her).
• These are not your father’s Sasquatch – instead of big, hairy, scary ape-like creatures, they’re a kinder, gentler, softer Sasquatch (think giant coconuts with floppy, furry clown feet). Not only that, they can fly if they suck in enough air, they live in a cluster of large underground caverns, and their leader is a shaman Sasquatch who extols several aspects of Native American beliefs.
• When flooding caused by the dam threatens the Sasquatch’s underground lair, Maggie tries to enlist her family to help the Sasquatch find a new place to call home.
• There’s also a who-cares subplot involving mountain man Cletus (Lance LeGault) trying in vain to kidnap Baby Sasquatch in the name of fame and fortune.

Critique:
• For an independent, largely unknown film, The Legend of Sasquatch does have an impressive pedigree of actors, including Hurt, John Rhys-Davis (Gimli from The Lord of the Rings), and voice legends Frank Welker (Scooby Doo’s Fred) as Baby Sasquatch and June Foray (Rocky & Bullwinkle) as Mama Sasquatch. Unfortunately, Welker and Foray are largely wasted, since their vocals for Baby and Mama consist solely of squeaks, grunts, and groans that any competent voice talent could perform.
• Sasquatch does have a cute, upbeat soundtrack, including the song “I Can Dream” by the aforementioned Restaneo sisters, who apparently have quite a thriving musical career. The film also features an angelic, lullaby-like score by Stafford Hebert.
• Regarding the animation, Pixar has nothing to worry about. The character design and movement is pretty basic and sometimes crude, reminiscent of the early days of VeggieTales. Still, it does seem deliberate in its simplicity, if that makes sense.
• The story of Sasquatch owes a lot to E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial – the single-parent family, the doubting older sibling, luring the creature into the open with a trail of items (pine cones in place of Reese’s Pieces)…there’s even a scene of Mama, Baby, and Maggie flying in silhouette in front of a full moon.
• I appreciate and understand that writer/director (and Disney/Henson veteran) Thomas Callicoat made Sasquatch as an independent film, which probably restricted his budget and resources. Still, a strong, compelling story can trump even the most frugal execution; unfortunately, that didn’t happen here. In fact, the last 20 minutes meander a bit, getting muddled in hokum about stars and spirits and Maggie’s ability to talk to her dead mom.

Though The Legend of Sasquatch is a less-than-perfect film, there was one scene I must single out: When the Sasquatch have to leave their caverns and search for a new home, Maggie says, “Everyone I love goes away…just like Mommy.” Ranger Steve (Rhys-Davies) then picks up a fallen pine cone and delivers a response that’s so eloquent and powerful, I had to print it here:

“This pine cone is only a shell. It is an empty container that once overflowed with the seeds of life. Should I be sad for this empty shell, or be happy for the life that is still growing in the forest because of it? Part of this pine cone still lives in every tree it has created. Parts of the ones that you love still live in you…no matter where they are.”

At its core, The Legend of Sasquatch is a simple, cute (albeit anemic) tale about the importance of family – not just having one, but preserving it both now and in the memories we’ll cherish throughout our lives.

Odds and ends:
• The Legend of Sasquatch was released in 2006, but wasn’t available on DVD until October 2008.
• The film received a bunch of family-friendly awards and recognition, including Best Feature Film (Animation) at the 2007 International Family Film Festival, a Dove Foundation seal of Family Approval, an endorsement from the Coalition for Quality Children's Media, and was an Official Selection of the 2007 Kids First! Film Festival.

Rating: 2 stars (out of 5).

What did Dash think?

• Dash was very attentive, but I was checking the clock around the 40-minute mark. Ironically, I was the one fidgeting, not my 5-year-old son.
• No surprise here, but Dash said, “Baby Sasquatch was my favorite.”

Will your kids like it?

The movie is the cinematic equivalent of Nerf; no child will get hurt interacting with it. But older kids will probably find it too slow and syrupy to stay engaged. It’s definitely a better fit for younger children, though be forewarned – there's an early mention by big sister Khristy that Sasquatch is a myth, “just like Santa Claus.” Luckily, Maggie defends that Santa Claus is real, so little ones watching the movie will have someone their age keeping Santa alive and well.

Will your FilmMother like it?

She’ll probably find it a pleasant, inoffensive movie to show to young ones, but if she tries to watch it, I’m pretty sure she’ll be doing clock-checking much like I did.


The Legend of Sasquatch
* Director: Thomas Callicoat
* Screenwriter: Thomas Callicoat
* Stars: William Hurt, John Rhys-Davies, Jewel Restaneo, Blaire Restaneo, Frank Welker, June Foray, Lance LeGault
* MPAA Rating: G


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The Thing (1982)

*UPDATED 3/11*

I’LL MAKE THIS INTRO BRIEF and to the point: If you love sci-fi and/or horror, you must see John Carpenter’s The Thing.

Plot: Scientists at a remote Antarctic research station are confronted by a shape-shifting alien that assumes the identity of the people it kills.

As one of a dozen men inhabiting the research station, Kurt Russell is at the top of his game. He portrays helicopter pilot MacReady as a man who just wants to do his job, get paid, and get drunk – but then is partially forced, partially driven to take charge of the situation.

And forget everything you know about warm, fuzzy character actor Wilford Brimley (Cocoon, those Liberty Medical commercials); in The Thing he’s unpredictable, a bit frightening, and nearly unrecognizable (no Cap’n Crunch mustache) as a scientist who’s slowly losing his marbles.

Upon its release, The Thing was dismissed as a slimy, gratuitous remake of the 1951 sci-fi classic. But over the years, critics and fans have warmed to the film and appreciated not only Rob Bottin’s amazing pre-CGI special effects, but Bill Lancaster’s powerful screenplay, the bass-as-heartbeat musical score by Ennio Morricone (The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly), the nightmarish sound effects of the creatures, and Carpenter’s masterful hand at creating an intense atmosphere of isolation, paranoia, and distrust.

In addition to being a great film, The Thing also had great poster art (see above) and one of the best taglines ever, which can be seen at the end of the trailer (which is also pretty awesome):

And after all these years, after seeing The Thing dozens of times, there’s still one scene that makes me jump. I know it’s coming, but damn if I don’t jump anyway. Any guess what it is? Drop a comment with your thoughts; I’ll reveal the answer in a few days. (For the sake of Thing virgins, don’t use the name of the person involved besides MacReady – call him “Ishmael” instead).

Want further proof that you need to see The Thing? As of this writing, it’s #173 on the Internet Movie Database’s list of the top 250 films of all time.

(For more things Thing, check out the website Outpost #31. It’s astonishing how much information and material they have about this film.)

[UPDATE: Mr. Canacorn was the only one who tried to guess which scene in The Thing still makes me jump. While he wasn’t correct, his mention for his still-jump scene is actually mine too: the blood test! Four words: “We’ll do you last.” Take it away, Ishmael!]

Rating: 4.5 stars (out of 5).

Will your kids want to watch it?

Show one scene of the creature’s transformation to any male tweener, and they’ll be dying for more. However, I’d hold off letting them watch the entire movie for a couple of reasons:


1) While Rob Bottin’s FX are amazing, they are very bloody, gooey, and gory. And there’s also a dash of gunplay and adult language. In other words, its R rating is justified.
2) As a 14-year-old gorehound who saw The Thing on HBO, I was too young to appreciate all the other remarkable elements of the film besides the gnarly special effects.

I know teens are growing up much faster than in my day – and thanks to the Internet, they see more depraved things than ever before. But for your kids to truly appreciate The Thing, I would wait until they are at least a couple years older than I was at my first viewing.

Will your FilmMother like it?

This may be a broad stroke, but I don’t think too many FilmMothers will care for The Thing – which is a shame, because it has top-tier dialogue, direction, acting, and FX. (This is probably one to watch by yourself, with your buddies, with your teenage son(s), etc.) However, if she likes being scared or burying her face in your shoulder when nasty stuff happens on-screen, you may be in luck.


The Thing
* Director: John Carpenter
* Screenwriter: Bill Lancaster
* Stars: Kurt Russell, Wilford Brimley, T.K. Carter, David Clennon, Keith David, Richard Dysart, Richard Masur, Charles Hallahan
* MPAA Rating: R


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Rescue Heroes: The Movie (2003)

AFTER I PROMISED DASH we could rent Rescue Heroes: The Movie, I wasn’t sure how I felt about letting him watch a movie based on a toy line. But who am I kidding: If there was a Stretch Armstrong movie when I was a kid, I’d have made a beeline for the box office. (Breaking: Stretch Armstrong: The Movie in development. Seriously.)

Plot:
I’ll rely on the back of the box, since I don’t think I could make it sound more exciting:
• A series of mysterious lightning storms wreaks havoc worldwide as they spiral through the atmosphere toward Greenland. Once they collide, they will create one massive storm that will result in cataclysmic destruction.
• The Rescue Heroes use their new Mission Select equipment to contain the disasters all over the world caused by these strange storms. But Billy Blazes is poisoned on a mission and getting weaker by the moment, and Rocky Canyon is grounded for insubordination. So the team is short-handed!
• Will they find the cure to save Billy? Will their teamwork and strength be enough to solve the mystery of the storms and save the world in time?

Critique:

• In terms of action, Rescue Heroes: The Movie doesn’t disappoint – there seems to be an intense, action-packed disaster every 10 minutes or so, including a few with children in peril. Pretty intense for a kids’ film – but I guess, no peril, no rescue, right?

• The front of the box shouts, “It's the Rescue Heroes team like you've never seen them before – in CGI animation!” And for 2003, the CGI is pretty impressive, resembling an odd blend of late-‘90s computer animation and current motion-capture FX.
• The movement of the heroes is very fluid and lifelike, but much like the humans in Fly Me To The Moon, they lack depth and tone (perhaps to intentionally look somewhat toy-like?).
• The heroes use a lot of cool gear, and speak in lots of hi-tech mumbo-jumbo – which could either be confusing to young viewers, or sound really cool.
• For the grown-ups, there are some great (or groan-inducing) puns for incidental character names. For example, take this gem from an avalanche in Switzerland: “Bob Sled and Al Pine are on the scene.”

Rescue Heroes: The Movie is a good combination of fun action with some important lessons woven in – primarily, the value of teamwork and knowing when to let someone else be the “go-to guy” in a situation.

Watch two trailers for Rescue Heroes: The Movie

Rating: 3 stars (out of 5).

What did Dash think?

Dash was glued to the set during this film, although he did ask, “When is this gonna be over?” in the middle of the big finale. Still, he said he’d recommend Rescue Heroes: The Movie to his classmates at kindergarten.

Will your kids like it?

• If Dash is any indication, then yes, if we’re talking about young boys. (For what it’s worth, I probably would’ve thought it was cool if I was a kid.)
• Young girls, I’m not so sure. There's a fair amount of female characters, though it’s a mixed bag of role models – for every female Rescue Hero, there’s another female who’s in peril or more concerned about her makeup.
• As I mentioned earlier, the movie is pretty action-packed for a young kids’ film. Kindergartners or older should be fine, but I’d say it’s too intense for the pre-K crowd.

Will your FilmMother like it?

She may appreciate the values of teamwork and being brave, but I doubt she’d want to actually sit through the whole film.


Rescue Heroes: The Movie
* Director: Ron Pitts
* Screenwriter: Brent Piaskoski
* Stars: Norm Spencer, Joe Motiki, Lenore Zann, Deborah Odell, Rod Wilson, Martin Roach
* MPAA Rating: G


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The Wrestler (2008)

[UPDATED 2/24: See end of review.]

THOUGH I HAVEN’T thought about him for years, I would say that I am a fan of Mickey Rourke; his work in ‘80s films Year of the Dragon and Angel Heart immediately come to mind. He was a charismatic actor and a force on the screen – until bad behavior, burned bridges, and a bizarre switch to boxing derailed his career.

Which makes Rourke’s turn in The Wrestler that much more heartbreaking to watch. It’s hard enough to witness what his character goes through, but it’s just as heartbreaking to see what we missed without his presence as a leading man over the last 15 years. (Recommend reading when you’re done here: “Mickey Roars” by Entertainment Weekly’s Chris Nashawaty.)

Plot:
• Randy “The Ram” Robinson (Rourke) was a top professional wrestler in the 1980s, ending the decade with a classic match at Madison Square Garden against his evil nemesis, The Ayatollah (Ernest Miller).
• 20 years later, Randy’s gone from selling out the Garden to wrestling in bingo halls and school gyms. He lives in a trailer park. He drives a van with his own action figure on the dashboard. He still uses ‘80s metal songs for his entrance music. He attends pathetic “fanfests” at local VFWs (with even more pathetic turnouts). He’s broke, but he still spends a thousand dollars a pop on performance-enhancing drugs and tanning booths. And when he’s not wrestling, he’s working at the loading dock of the local Acme.
• For companionship – something he will probably never get from his estranged daughter, Stephanie (Evan Rachel Wood) – Randy turns to lap dances at the local strip club from Cassidy (Marisa Tomei), who, in stripper years, is a bit past her prime as well.
• After suffering a heart attack following a brutal “weapons match,” he’s told that he can’t wrestle anymore or it will kill him. But an enticing offer is dangled in front of him by a local promoter: a 20th-anniversary rematch with The Ayatollah.

Critique:
• Heartwrenching. Grueling. Depressing. Just a few of the words that come to mind when watching The Wrestler, especially Rourke’s performance. It’s already been said by dozens of reviews and bloggers, and it’s true: Rourke is phenomenal. It’s a milestone in character study, with Rourke showing us who Randy is through minimal dialogue and an emphasis on emotions and reactionary acting – reactions to the situations he’s placed in, and those he puts himself in.
• Rourke and Tomei’s on-screen chemistry is palpable. The parallels between Randy and Cassidy are a large part of what draws them together: They’re both past their prime for what they do, which is put on a show that is different from who they are in real life. And in that real life, their relationship skills – often put on hold to please their customers – consist of awkward yet endearing fits and starts that have you hoping they’ll make it work.
• As a former follower of pro wrestling, I can say that The Wrestler accurately captures the essence of the “indie” wrestling leagues: the small, nondescript gyms and banquet halls, the former headliners crossing paths with promising up-and-comers, the reactions and sometimes profane chants of the crowd…it’s all presented here in true-to-life form.
• The Wrestler owes a lot to its haunting musical score by Clint Mansell (featuring Slash) that makes the film even heavier to absorb. In addition, the soundtrack features many ‘80s metal tunes to play into Randy’s time-capsule persona, with songs by Guns ‘n Roses, Ratt, Quiet Riot, Accept, Cinderella, Firehouse, Slaughter, and Scorpions.
• Director Darren Aronofsky and cinematographer Maryse Alberti shoot The Wrestler with a documentary-like feel, creating an over-the-shoulder experience for the viewer. At times it’s almost like you could reach out and touch Randy – and in some scenes, you’ll want to pull him back and save him from himself.
• The filmmakers do a good job of accurately depicting life in blue-collar New Jersey (having lived there, I would know), with mentions of neighboring locations like Allentown, PA and Randy’s possible big match with The Ayatollah in Wilmington, Delaware.

Wrestling trivia:
• All the independent wrestling leagues you see in the movie (WXW, CZW, ROH) are real leagues that do business in the NJ/PA/DE area. In fact, it was WXW owner Afa (of the ’70s tag team The Wild Samoans) who trained Rourke for The Wrestler.
• Don’t know wrestling lingo? Angle, hard way, blading, face, heel, spots…if these terms sound Greek to you, click here for a crash course in wrestling-speak.

At the time of this review, the Oscars are three days away. The race for Best Actor is basically between Rourke for The Wrestler and Sean Penn for Milk. Here are the pros and cons for each man, as I see it:

Pros for Penn: Penn disappeared behind his role and became Harvey Milk. An amazing portrayal of the gay rights activist, which comes following the recent furor by gay advocates surrounding California’s passing of Proposition 8, which eliminated same-sex couples' right to marry in the state.
Con for Penn: He won this award for his work in 2003’s Mystic River. Will the Academy feel it’s too soon to reward him again?

Pros for Rourke: Who doesn’t love a comeback? Rourke brought much of his real-life hardships and career struggles to the role of Randy. And there are many who still value his contributions to film before the ‘90s began.
Con for Rourke: He may have made too many enemies in Hollywood (and amongst Academy members) to earn their vote with just one film.

Me? Both men deserve to win, though I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t love to see a Mickey Rourke acceptance speech.


[UPDATE: Well, Sean Penn won the Oscar...which robbed us of a Mickey Rourke acceptance speech that night. However, he did give an acceptance speech the night before, winning for Best Male Lead at the Independent Spirit Awards -- a speech that is profane, hilarious, heartfelt, and worth showing here (NSFW).]

Rating: 4 stars (out of 5).

Will your kids want to watch it?

If they think it’s all about pro wrestling, they might. However, a) there are only about five scenes of in-ring action; and b) The Wrestler is in no way suitable for children:
• A bloody weapons match includes the breaking of tables, smashing of glass panes, and the use of barbed wire and a staple gun.
• During one match, Randy cuts himself on his forehead with a razor blade for added dramatic effect.
• There is a lot of adult language, drug use, and drug-related language.
• Tomei is nude for a large amount of her screen time, and Randy gets explicitly randy with a girl in a nightclub bathroom.

Will your FilmMother like it?

She may not like it – in fact, she may find it hard to watch for its heartbreaking content – but she’d find it hard to deny that The Wrestler is a powerful film, and one that will stick with both of you for days to come.

The Wrestler
* Director: Darren Aronofsky
* Screenwriter: Robert Siegel
* Stars: Mickey Rourke, Marisa Tomei, Evan Rachel Wood
* MPAA Rating: R


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Mulan (1998)

FROM 1989-1994, Disney animated films were on a tear. They started  with The Little Mermaid and continued with Aladdin, Best Picture nominee Beauty and the Beast, and culminated with 1994’s global smash hit, The Lion King.

Conversely, most of Disney’s films in the second half of the ‘90s were, in a word, weak. The Mouse House seemed to rest on its Lion King laurels for the next three releases, and they all fell flat: Pocahontas, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and Hercules barely register with any Disney fan these days – an even sadder fact considering the oldest of this bunch came out less than 15 years ago.

Which leads us to Mulan, Disney’s big animated feature for 1998…

Plot:
• In a small village in ancient China, teenage girl Mulan (Ming Na-Wen) visits a matchmaker with her mother and grandmother to uphold her family honor by meeting a man, becoming his wife, and serving him well. After she colossally bungles the meeting, the matchmaker tells her, “You’ll never bring your family honor!”
• Meanwhile, the marauding Huns – led by intimidating leader Shan-Yu (Miguel Ferrer) – invade China and rampage across the country. Because of this threat, one man from each family must serve in the Chinese army, by orders of the emperor.
• Mulan’s father Fa Zhou (Soon-Tek Oh) has a bad leg from a previous war, and she’s distraught that he’s being forced to go. Her father is the only man in the household, and has no choice but to accept (and he’s too proud not to serve).
• In the middle of the night, to protect her father, Mulan cuts her hair, takes her father’s armor and sword, and runs off to join the army as “Ping,” his son.
• Meanwhile, the ghost ancestors of Mulan’s family send Mushu (Eddie Murphy), a disgraced dragon, to protect Mulan during her training and in battle – both of which are led by Shang (B.D. Wong).

Critique:
• Mulan is another of Disney’s half-baked lessons in history / mythology / literature, much like the three films that preceded it. It has some laughs, but overall it’s a rather serious story. (Speaking of story: It’s dumbfounding that it took five screenwriters to create something this tepid.)
• Murphy’s Mushu is tough to take and a bit out of place. His jive-talking is so fast and continuous, it’s nearly impossible to catch all the “jokes” he’s making. It is, however, easy to see how Murphy basically schlepped this shtick over to DreamWorks a couple of years later for his work as Donkey in the Shrek films.
• The musical numbers (remember when Disney still did those?) are no great shakes. The big standout is Mulan’s solo number, “Reflection,” which was a hit for Christina Aguilera when she recorded it for the soundtrack. The other big number, Shang’s “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” (sung by Donny Osmond) is disappointing, especially considering Osmond’s got the pipes to do something huge, but sounds like he’s talking his way through it.
• TOO MANY HUMANS! I have no idea what possessed Disney – on the heels of the all-animal Lion King, their biggest success ever – to do a series of films focusing so much on human characters. Maybe I’m wrong, but I think people have been drawn to Disney’s animated films because of these films’ ability to create loveable, endearing characters that don’t exist in our world – talking animals, to be blunt. (The one perfect exception to this rule: The Incredibles.)
• Shang looks suspiciously like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, who was in his WWE heyday at the time – and who now, coincidentally, is a big star of Disney’s live-action movies (The Game Plan, Race to Witch Mountain).

While Mulan’s message – that a girl can do just as good a job as a boy – is empowering, it’s been done before. And from a Disney pedigree perspective, the film is nowhere near any of their classics, older or contemporary.

Rating: 2.5 stars (out of 5).

What did Dash think?

• Mulan kept Dash’s attention for the entire film, despite him asking several questions along the lines of “What happened?” and “Why did he/she/they do that?”
• The ancestor spirits protecting Mulan and her family were a little hard to explain, but we got past it.
• His final thought? “The only parts I didn’t like were the bad guys.” (He tends to obsess about “bad people” and why they do what they do. I can see it now: “When I grow up, I wanna be a profiler!”)

Will your kids like it?

• The storyline may take some occasional explaining to younger kids, with its reliance on ancient China’s history, heritage, and code of conduct – layered with the intricacies (and sometimes brutal reality) of war and battle.
• In terms of possibly questionable content for young viewers: There are a few battle sequences involving swordplay and flaming bows & arrows, and Mulan’s army unit comes across a village destroyed by the Huns, with one character’s father found dead (off-screen).

Will your FilmMother like it?

Like I mentioned earlier, the message of female empowerment in Mulan is noble – and your FilmMother may find it appealing – but it’s been done better elsewhere. And from a pure entertainment angle, Disney’s got many other titles in their library worth seeing before this.


Mulan
* Directors: Tony Bancroft, Barry Cook
* Screenwriters: Rita Hsiao, Christopher Sanders, Philip LaZebnik, Raymond Singer, Eugenia Bostwick-Singer
* Stars: Ming-Na Wen, Eddie Murphy, B.D. Wong, Miguel Ferrer, Soon-Tek Oh
* MPAA Rating: G


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