Bee Movie (2007)

MY AFFECTION FOR DreamWorks Animation has definitely grown over the last five years, thanks to more deeply developed offerings such as the Kung Fu Panda films, How to Train Your Dragon, and last year’s Rise of the Guardians.

But before that, DreamWorks’ output lacked the depth and imagination that Pixar was providing in droves. And 2007’s Bee Movie is (hopefully) one of the last installments of that earlier time.

Barry B. Benson (Jerry Seinfeld) is a college grad who’s eager to begin his career as a worker bee in his hive. Since bees have a short lifespan, he knows he has to make his career choice count – once a bee picks a job in the hive, they’re stuck with it for the rest of their (abbreviated) life. While out collecting pollen, Barry befriends Vanessa (Renée Zellweger), a human who values all living things, including Barry. When Barry is outraged that people have been “stealing” bees’ honey for years, Vanessa helps him file a lawsuit against the human race.

Bee Movie is pollinated here and there with make-you-smile cleverness, but out-loud laughs are few. Many jokes will go over kids’ heads, but the punchlines won’t satisfy the adults who get them. (It really took four writers to come up with this?)

In addition to uneven humor and lack of character depth, the film demands huge suspensions of disbelief. The fact that Vanessa accepts and befriends a talking bee after only a few moments is hard to swallow, not to mention the swarms of people in the courtroom during Barry’s lawsuit trial who also seem unaffected by Barry’s ability to speak. It’s also tough buying the seasoned, “lemme tell ya” voice of 53-year-old Jerry Seinfeld as a recent college graduate. (If you’re dying for a Jerry/Puddy reunion, Seinfeld’s Patrick Warburton voices Vanessa’s arrogant and jealous boyfriend, Ken.)

Bee Movie starts with a promising premise – questioning the idea of having one monotonous job your entire life (a la Wreck-It Ralph) – but soon devolves into a much less engaging plot involving a courtroom trial that kids won’t care about, much less understand. Uneven and too clever for its own good, Bee Movie provides occasional glimpses of inspiration, but ultimately not enough sting.

Rating:

What did FilmBoy and Jack-Jack think?

FilmBoy stayed with Bee Movie for the first hour, but then his attention waned and he started looking at his Pokemon cards. His final verdict: “It was okay.” Meanwhile, Jack-Jack soaked in every bit, getting visibly animated at much of what was going on.

Is it suitable for your kids?

Bee Movie is rated PG for "mild suggestive humor."
Language: A bee accuses Barry of “making out” with Vanessa. When he needs to go to the bathroom, Barry declares he needs to “drain the ol’ stinger.” A bee says of a female co-worker, “She’s hot!” Barry describes a character as being “very Jewish.” In a low moment, Barry and Vanessa jokingly discuss a “suicide pact” and how they would do it. One mention each of “drag queen,” “poo water,” and “heaving buttocks.”
Violence: Vanessa stabs herself with a fork to make sure she’s not dreaming. Barry has a dream where Vanessa crashes a plane she’s piloting and it bursts into flames. There are several scenes of slapstick punching and slapping. Ken tries to swat, smash, and light Barry on fire during a fight.
Adult Themes: There’s an ongoing theme, though handled lightheartedly, of dying and death due to the bee’s short lifespan.
Smoking: A human passerby smokes a cigarette.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

The images and premise of Bee Movie may appeal to her, but she may balk at the pedestrian humor and questionable adult material in such a child-targeted film.

Wow – that's one honey of a serve!
(Oh, boo-hiss to you, too.)

Bee Movie
* Directors: Steve Hickner, Simon J. Smith
* Screenwriters: Jerry Seinfeld, Spike Feresten, Barry Marder, Andy Robin
* Stars: Jerry Seinfeld, Renée Zellweger, Matthew Broderick, Patrick Warburton, John Goodman, Chris Rock, Kathy Bates, Eddie Izzard, Alan Arkin, Megan Mullally, Rip Torn, Larry Miller, Barry Levinson
* MPAA Rating: PG



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Congrats to the winner of the Best of Warner Bros. 100 Film Collection!

And...

The winner is...

Amy Bond!

Thanks to everyone who entered the contest - and for making this my most popular giveaway ever.

Win the Best of Warner Bros. 100 Film Collection! (a $600 value)

I CAN’T BELIEVE I’m giving this away: You could win the Best of Warner Bros. 100 Film Collection!

This collection makes a great last-minute Mother’s Day gift. It features 100 classic films (including all 22 of Warner Bros.’ Best Picture™ winners) on 55 DVDs, presented in book-style premium packaging. It also includes two all-new documentaries, Tales from the Warner Bros. Lot and The Warner Bros. Lot Tour, plus hours of commentaries, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and more on select films, as well as a limited edition 27” x 40” poster and a postcard series of Warner Bros. movie posters designed by the legendary Bill Gold. View full film list

How to Enter:

• Comment on this post by May 8, 2013. You must provide a way for me to contact you if you win. For example, your e-mail address must be available on the page/site that's linked to your name ("Bob said...") or include your email or Twitter handle in your comment.
• I will pick one comment at random and post the winner.
• Prize is available to U.S. mailing addresses only. (No P.O. Boxes, please.)

After you’ve entered, check out the Mother’s Day Movie Night Blog App, featuring:

• Guess-the-Scene – How well do you know the silver screen’s most famous love stories and sing-a-longs? Test your knowledge on the world’s greatest films. The quicker you pick, the more points you score!
• Words in Film – Select your mood and let quotes and images from film express how you’re feeling.
• Movie Night Conversation Starters – Watching a classic flick together is the perfect opportunity to catch up and share stories. This Mother’s Day, make it a point to connect with your family and give them a chance to learn something about mom they never knew!

You can also download “My Perfect Mother’s Day” (PDF), a fun fill-in-the-blank sheet you can fill out and hang on your fridge for your whole family to see.

Good luck!

Superfights (1995)

SOMETIMES, I WORRY that I won’t see another film worthy of Trashterpiece Theatre. But then along comes a movie like Superfights, and all is right with the world.

“Superfights,” as if I have to tell you, are a type of pro wrestling/martial arts hybrid – “where no one knows the outcome!” the announcer assures us – with Superfighters sporting gimmicky nicknames such as Budokai, Dark Cloud, and Night Stalker. Mega-fan Jack Cody (Brandon Gaines) attends every event, even teaching himself the moves he sees his favorite Superfighters perform. (Conveniently, he works in a warehouse full of mannequins, which he uses as practice dummies.)

After Jack becomes a local celebrity by beating up a trio of would-be muggers, he’s recruited by Superfights president Mr. Sawyer (Keith Vitali) to compete in the ring. Jack trains with Angel (Kelly Gallant), a freakishly muscular female Superfighter who overtly flirts with Jack but may have ulterior motives. Watch in amazement as Angel trains Jack using the latest advancements in 1995 technology, including punching at a stream of light and dodging giant phallic pipes that dart out of the walls.

Oh, I almost forgot: Mr. Sawyer’s Superfights empire might be a front for extortion, drug running, mind control, and murder.

Superfights captures the pure essence of direct-to-video, B-movie action flicks of the mid-‘90s. The B-level acting. The hokey, overly serious training montages. The meathead, be-the-best mentality of the fighters. The gratuitous violence. The melodramatic soundtrack, awash in mid-‘90s synth and squealing guitar riffs. This one’s got it all, set against the martial arts hotbed of…Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

The film also features other ridiculous moments, such as Jack getting attacked by a ninja while jogging in broad daylight – a ninja who, while fleeing, literally tells Jack to “just say no” to the “vitamins” supplied by Angel as part of Jack’s Superfighters regimen.

All that being said, the fight scenes in Superfights are in-sane. Director and fight choreographer Tony Leung gives us dozens of fights featuring rapid-fire exchanges, impressive editing, and over-exaggerated impact with blood, sweat, and spit flying everywhere. It culminates in a multi-fight finale between Cody and Sawyer that’s so amazing, I immediately replayed it once the credits started to roll.

A real-life third-degree black belt, Gaines’ role in Superfights was his first and last in films; he’s now a public speaker, rabbi, and acupuncturist living in California. Gallant, unfortunately, has had her share of run-ins with the law since Superfights, including a wrongful death lawsuit and recent arrests for DUI and probation violation.

Highly entertaining and a candidate for repeat viewing, Superfights delivers the goods in both martial arts action and cheeseballiness – rightfully earning its spot in the Trashterpiece pantheon.

(Bonus: Watch for a brief appearance by wrestling legend Rob Van Dam as a doomed Superfighter. His fight was originally supposed to be much shorter, but the filmmakers were so impressed with his physical abilities that they made his fight longer and took a full day to shoot.)

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

Violence: The Superfights get increasingly violent, leading to bloodied faces and broken bones. Superfighters beat up citizens and two-bit hoods while collecting “protection” money. Several people are beaten to death, many with blood spurting from their mouths. A man is bloodily decapitated by a ceiling fan.
Sex/Nudity: Angel is seen briefly nude from behind as she enters a shower. Jack and Angel share a kiss wearing nothing but bathrobes. Angel makes several overt advances on Jack, with lots of grabbing and groping. Sawyer and Angel are shown getting dressed post-coitus.
Language: “A**hole,” “bulls**t,” “s**t”
Drugs: Superfighters are shown taking Sawyer’s steroid-laced, mind-controlling “vitamins.” A man snorts cocaine.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

If she’s the kind of person who enjoys B-movies and talking back to the screen, but doesn’t mind some violence and bloodshed thrown in the mix, Superfights could be a great film for you to share. Otherwise, check it out yourself or with some friends.

Experience the awesome Superfights trailer,

then try in vain to fight your urge to see the film:

Superfights
* Director: Tony Leung
* Screenwriter: Keith W. Strandberg
* Stars: Brandon Gaines, Feihong Yu, Keith Vitali, Kelly Gallant, Chuck Jeffreys, Cliff Lenderman, Brian Ruth, Patrick Lung-Kong, Karen Bill
* MPAA Rating: PG-13


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Win a Blu-ray/DVD Combo Pack of The Guilt Trip and a Deluxe Spa Kit!

 
JUST IN TIME FOR MOTHER'S DAY:
You could win a Blu-ray/DVD Combo Pack of The Guilt Trip starring Seth Rogen and Barbra Streisand, plus a deluxe spa kit.






The Blu-ray/DVD Combo Pack comes ready-wrapped and includes a pop-up Mother's Day greeting card with audio message:

click to enlarge

click to enlarge

The spa kit includes: sauna basket, olive & aloe soap, honey & calendula moisturizer, cool mint foot scrub, Whenever shampoo and conditioner, anti-stress shower gel, whitening toothpaste, early-to-bed shower gel, loofa, pumice stone, massaging brush, nail brush, and hair brush.



How to Enter:

• Comment on this post by April 28, 2013. You must provide a way for me to contact you if you win. For example, your e-mail address must be available on the page/site that's linked to your name ("Bob said...") or include your e-mail or Twitter handle in your comment.
• I will pick one comment at random and post the winner.
• Prize is available to U.S. mailing addresses only. (No P.O. Boxes, please.)

Good luck!

GLOW: The Story of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling (2012)

I BECAME A FAN OF PRO WRESTLING in late 1984, in the months leading up to the World Wrestling Federation (WWF)’s first WrestleMania. It all started for me with Greg “The Hammer” Valentine defeating Tito Santana for the Intercontinental Championship and tearing Tito’s ACL with the dreaded figure-four leglock. (Don’t worry, fans: Santana regained the title the following summer in a steel cage match.)

While the WWF (now WWE) had its share of cartoonish two-dimensional characters during the ‘80s, it was nothing compared to the first all-women wrestling organization, the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling (GLOW).

From 1986 until its abrupt end in 1990, GLOW’s roster was comprised entirely of “gimmick” wrestlers sporting clichéd ringwear and names like Ninotchka, Hollywood, Babe the Farmer’s Daughter, Matilda the Hun, Tina Ferrari, Dementia, Mt. Fiji, Jailbait, Lightning, Godiva, The Heavy Metal Sisters, and Big Bad Mama. With its weekly TV show from the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas, which featured matches as well as skits with punchlines on the level of Laugh-In or Hee Haw, GLOW made the WWF look like Masterpiece Theatre.

The documentary GLOW: The Story of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling takes a look back at this campy yet groundbreaking organization through interviews with the women who lived it. There are no third-party “experts” or wrestling historians telling the GLOW story; the women speak for themselves, discussing how they each got started, the essence of their characters, and the rigors of training and performing.

The women also talk about dealing with the mental and verbal abuse doled out by mercurial GLOW director/promoter Matt Cimber, who had a Hollywood background (his ex was Jayne Mansfield) and a close friendship with Riviera owner Meshulam Riklis, whose then-wife was actress Pia Zadora (Santa Claus Conquers the Martians). Interestingly, the two male driving forces behind GLOW – Cimber and creator/host Mike McClaine – declined to be interviewed for the film.

What’s also interesting about GLOW: Not a single wrestler badmouths her experience. There’s not an iota of resentment from any of them. These women saw themselves as a very unified group (the term “sisterhood” is used more than once) and they’re enthusiastic to discuss their time with GLOW, whether the memories are good or bad. In fact, any hardship at the hands of their bosses – including Cimber’s frequent jabs at their weight – gets laughed off by those who are retelling it.

Similarly, if you’re looking for an exploitative exposé on ‘80s excess, you won’t find it here. There are no scandals, no tales of debauchery, no drug arrests, no steroid use, no complaints of any of the wrestlers being a “bad worker.” And no one is still trudging around the ring like some decrepit relic a la The Wrestler’s Randy the Ram. (The only sad story is that of Mt. Fiji, who’s interviewed from a hospital bed as she has spent several years in a nursing home.) The film culminates in an emotional GLOW reunion, the only one that’s ever taken place since the organization folded more than 20 years ago.

What ever happened to the women of GLOW is probably not a burning question on people’s minds in 2013. But for fans of ‘80s wrestling like me, it was enjoyable to watch these ladies reminisce fondly about their time in the ring. They were a band of largely inexperienced sisters who created a weekly, successful all-female program in a male-dominated industry. And that, in its purest sense, is something truly gorgeous.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

Violence: Wrestling matches featuring the GLOW women “attacking” each other. Gruesome footage is shown of Lightning breaking her arm during a match.
Sex/Nudity: Archive footage is shown of a GLOW wrestler wearing nothing but a towel. Hollywood holds her issue of Playboy, though she covers up the photos of her spread.
Language: A few four-letter words and derogatory terms for women.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Beneath the glitter and spandex, there are messages about women’s empowerment, unity, and perseverance. Any of these could be a reason for your FilmMother to watch this entertaining documentary with you. (Point of reference: My wife entered the room halfway through GLOW, working on other things. By the end, it had her full attention.)

 

Whoa, whoa, whoa...I take it back, Itakeitback, ITAKEITBAAAACK!!!

GLOW: The Story of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling
* Director: Brett Whitcomb
* Screenwriter: Bradford Thomason
* Stars: Lori Palmer (Ninotchka), Jeanne Basone (Hollywood), Ursula Hayden (Babe the Farmer’s Daughter), Dee Booher (Matilda the Hun), Lisa Moretti (Tina Ferrari), Emily Dole (Mt. Fiji), Trish Casella (Jailbait), Cheryl Rusa (Lightning), Dawn Rice (Godiva), Helena Le Count (Daisy), Donna Willinsky (Spike), Sharon Willinsky (Chainsaw), Lynn Braxton (Big Bad Mama), Matt Cimber
* MPAA Rating: N/A

A Turtle’s Tale 2: Sammy’s Escape from Paradise (2012)

MY MAIN GRIPE ABOUT 2010's A Turtle’s Tale: Sammy’s Adventures was how such a beautifully animated film could house such a plodding story and minimal character development (not to mention a subtle-as-a-sledgehammer environmental message).


The hope was that director Ben Stassen would beef up his story and its players for A Turtle Tale’s 2: Sammy’s Escape from Paradise, where we’re reunited with an advanced-age Sammy (Johnny Wesley) and his best friend Ray (Thomas Lee), who find themselves trapped by poachers and dumped into The Tank, a lavish underwater restaurant/aquarium. As they try to reunite with their grandkids Ella (Shyloh Oostwald) and Ricky (Carter Hastings), who have followed them to The Tank, Sammy and Ray try to hatch an escape plan to get past Big D (Dennis O’Connor), the tough-talking seahorse who rules the aquarium with an iron fin.

With A Turtle’s Tale 2, Stassen and his team have cut way back on the save-the-earth messaging of the original Turtle’s Tale, but the imbalance between animation and character depth still remains. Once again, the film is beautifully animated, with fluid character movement and sprawling seascapes. Unfortunately, the characters aren’t as engaging, nor is their dialogue.

This one-dimensional approach to the creatures’ personalities isn’t limited to Sammy, Ray, and their grandturtles. The inhabitants of The Tank are also one-note, stock stereotypes – a virtual United Nations of sea life sporting overbearing Spanish, French, and Italian accents, to name a few. And while Big D may be positioned as the big baddie who won’t let Sammy and Ray leave, he’s about as menacing as a tough-talking fish stick from Staten Island.

Save for one inspiring, extended sequence where Ella and Ricky are chased through the aquarium by a pair of barracudas, the action – whether to advance the plot or merely keep your attention – is virtually nil. It probably doesn’t help when your two leads are a pair of old, slow-moving sea turtles who make Finding Nemo’s Crush look like Usain Bolt.

A Turtle’s Tale 2 does feature an enjoyable yet odd use of a classic rock soundtrack, including Jimi Hendrix’s “All Along the Watchtower,” The Champs’ “Tequila,” and the morbid choice of the B-52’s “Rock Lobster” as a restaurant couple crack apart and slurp up a freshly served pair of the song’s titular crustaceans.

Just like its predecessor, A Turtle’s Tale 2 is a disappointing and frustrating experience. Stassen and his obviously talented team of animators and filmmakers have again put immense efforts into creating a visually enthralling world, but little to no effort into the characters who inhabit it. Gorgeous style, very little substance…and another wasted opportunity.

aka Sammy’s Great Escape.

Rating:

What did FilmBoy and Jack-Jack think?

A Turtle’s Tale 2 was unable to keep their attention. By the halfway point, they were doing other things while the film played in the background. (Truth be told, I was checking the clock by that point, too.) FilmBoy’s official verdict? “It wasn’t the best movie ever. It was okay. It was definitely better than the first one.”

Is it suitable for your kids?

Violence/Scariness: Seagulls try to eat a group of turtle hatchlings as they make a run from the beach to the ocean. A couple of dopey little fish are eaten by a pair of barracudas (one gulp, no blood). Ella and Ricky are in danger of being eaten as they’re chased by the same barracudas.
Rude Humor: Seagulls unleash a barrage of bird droppings on a boat’s crew.
Language: One mention of “idiot.” An eel declares, “You don’t have a friggin’ clue.”
Alcohol: Bartenders at a club in the aquarium mix and serve drinks.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

She may want to watch it based on the setting, premise, and cute box art, but steer her clear. She’ll be bored within the first 30 minutes.

"What a cutie. Shame to eat 'em in just one bite..."

A Turtle’s Tale 2: Sammy’s Escape from Paradise
* Directors: Ben Stassen, Vincent Kesteloot
* Screenwriter: Dominic Paris
* Stars: Johnny Wesley, Thomas Lee, Shyloh Oostwald, Carter Hastings, Dennis O’Connor
* MPAA Rating: N/A



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Congrats to the winner of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Blu-ray Combo Pack!

And...

The winner is...

Whit!

Thanks to everyone who entered the contest!

A Talking Cat!?! (2013)

OFFICES OF RAPID HEART PICTURES, BURBANK, CA – SUMMER 2012

“Mornin’, Sam.”
“Mornin’, Ralph.”
“Listen, Sam, we’ve done great with our line of Z-grade, homoerotic horror films, but I think we need to broaden our audience. Let’s make a family-friendly kids film.”
“Sure. What’d you have in mind?”
“A Talking Cat!?!”
“A talking cat? Where?!”
“No, no – let’s make a movie about a talking cat.”
“You had me at ‘let’s make a movie.’”
“By the way, A Talking Cat!?! is also the title.”
“We’re going to call a movie about a talking cat A Talking Cat!?!”
“Yep. That’s two exclamation points and one question mark. To emphasize the wackiness.”
“How about two question marks and one exclamation point?”
“C’mon, Sam, that’d just look stupid.”
“Don’t you think we should try and call it something remotely clever or cute, like Cat Got Your Tongue or Kitten Caboodle? Y’know, so it looks like we put an ounce of thought behind it?”
“Nah. A Talking Cat!?! is direct, honest. Parents look for that in movies for their kids.”
“So what’s the plot?”
“I dunno. Something simple that’s been done a hundred times over. How about two families who need to be brought together for some happy-ending reason…but with a talking cat.”
“Works for me. What about the cast?”
“Get a handful of some marginally competent teen actors. It doesn’t matter if they can actually act…kids who watch this won’t care.”
“Done.”
“We also need some actors to keep the parents’ attention. Get some young actors from the ‘70s to play the adults. For the dad, let’s get the kid from Sigmund and the Sea Monster.”
“You mean Sigmund and the Sea Monsters.”
“No, I think it’s Monster.”
“I’m pretty sure it’s Monsters. Y’know, a quick Google search could settle this…”
“No time. Just make sure it’s correct on the box.”
“You got it.”
“For the female lead, get that girl-next-door cutie from Meatballs. The blonde.”
“Yeah, she was cute. Those eyes. That smile…”
“Focus, Sam.”
“Hey, speaking of Meatballs, you think Bill Murray would do a cameo?”
“[blank stare]”
“Right. Never mind.”
“Finally, we need someone to voice the cat. And that someone is Eric Roberts.”
“Eric Roberts?”
“Yeah. We can get him, cheap. He owes us for not talking about that thing…you know…”
“Oh yeah…that thing…”
“Mmm-hmm. But don’t have him talk like a fun-loving cat. Have him talk kinda like a smarmy robot. Kids love robots.”
“A smarmy…robot…”
“And make sure his voiceover sounds good. Whatever you do, don’t make it sound like he recorded his lines using a rolled-up paper megaphone while standing in a large bathroom.”
“Question: How will we make the cat’s mouth move without spending a fortune?”
“No sweat. My nephew’s a whiz with Microsoft Paint. I’ll buy him a six-pack of Red Bull, and he’ll make us an animated black hole for the cat’s mouth. In no way will it look like a pulsating black diamond with complete disregard to the actual words Roberts is saying.”
“Great.”
“Also, work the story so the cat can only talk to each human once. It’ll cut down on the cost of the effects.”
“But…”
“Every penny counts, Sam.”
“Uh-huh. Well, what about a director? Who’s gonna helm this masterpiece?”
“Let’s get David to do it.”
“David DeCoteau, the guy who runs this place?”
“Yeah. He got his start with Roger Corman, so some of that has to rub off, right? At least we know he’ll bring it in under budget.”
“After directing stuff like Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama and Test Tube Teens From the Year 2000, a flick about a talking cat should be no-brainer.”
“Exactly. Oh, and he might use the pseudonym Mary Crawford. It’s his…thing.”
“I wish I had a ‘thing.’ Should we scout locations?”
“Nah. Let’s just use the same mansion from our 1313 films.”
“That was easy. What about the music score?”
“Let’s get the guy who scores all the other films for Rapid Heart: Henry Mancini!”
“Henry Mancini’s dead. I think you mean Harry Manfredini.”
“Yeah, that guy. Did you know he scored all the Friday the 13th movies?”
“Yes. Yes he did.”
“For the trailer, here’s what I’m thinking…”

“Um, okay.”
“Make sure to use Comic Sans for the title cards. It screams ‘professional filmmaking.’”
“Plus, the kids will love it.”
“Exactly. And make sure you show the cat’s butthole in close-up at least once. Kids will think that’s hysterical and they’ll talk about it for days.”

A TALKING CAT!?! DVD RELEASE – FEBRUARY 2013

“Sam! Look at the buzz for A Talking Cat!?! It’s a hit!”
“Uh, don’t know if those reviews qualify it as a hit: ‘I swear my 10-year-old could make this film on her video camera.’ ‘The cat's acting is all thanks to a laser pointer that is clearly visible.’ ‘This is awesomely bad.’ Ralph, did we really screen A Talking Cat!?! at the Wisconsin Transgender Film Extravaganza?”
“Who cares? The point is, people are talking about this film: on the world wide web, the blogosphere, even in those social mediums. You know what I’m thinking?”
“No. What?”
“Two words: Talking. Pony.”

“Oh God.”
“I smell franchiiiiiise!!!”
“I sure smell something.”

Rating:

What did FilmBoy think?

Recently, FilmBoy’s been a bit of a connoisseur of bad movies. So it means a lot when he says of A Talking Cat!?!, “It makes Ratatoing look like a masterpiece.”

 Is it suitable for your kids?

Aside from its inherent existence, there’s nothing inappropriate with A Talking Cat!?! Two teen siblings exchange insults such as “shut it,” “I hate you,” “loser,” and “nerd,” but that’s about it.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

If she does, tell her some of these quotes from my FilmMother. She told FilmBoy, “Your brother’s the smartest one in this family: He’s not watching this.” Then at the end, she turned to me and said, “I don’t think I’m ever gonna forgive you for that one.” And she’s a cat person.

Oh my God...that's what our dailies look like!?!

A Talking Cat!?!
* Director: David DeCoteau (as Mary Crawford)
* Screenwriter: Andrew Helm
* Stars: Kristine DeBell, Johnny Whitaker, Eric Roberts, Alison Sieke
* MPAA Rating: N/A


Rent A Talking Cat!?! from Netflix >>

Win The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Blu-ray Combo Pack!

YOU COULD WIN a copy of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Blu-ray Combo Pack, featuring a Blu-ray, DVD, and digital copy of the film, plus many special features.

Synopsis: J.R.R. Tolkien’s epic adventure follows the journey of Bilbo Baggins, who is swept into an amazing quest to reclaim the lost Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor from the fearsome dragon Smaug. Approached out of the blue by the wizard Gandalf the Grey, Bilbo finds himself joining a company of thirteen dwarves led by the legendary warrior, Thorin Oakenshield. Their journey will take them into the Wild; through treacherous lands swarming with Goblins and Orcs, deadly Wargs and Sorcerers.

How to Enter:

• Comment on this post by March 29, 2013. You must provide a way for me to contact you if you win. For example, your e-mail address must be available on the page/site that's linked to your name ("Bob said..."), or include your e-mail or Twitter handle in your comment.
• I will then pick one comment at random and post the winner.
• Prize is available to United States mailing addresses only. (No P.O. Boxes, please.)

Good luck!

After you enter, check out The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Blog App below, featuring:

• Are You 100% Hobbit? – Take the quiz to find out just how much of a Hobbit you are.
• Creatures of Middle-Earth – Hobbits, Elves, and Dwarves are just a few of the magical creatures that call Middle-earth home. Check out vital stats and unique features about each one.
• The Hobbit Handbook – This downloadable handbook includes everything you need to throw the best viewing party in Middle-earth right at home.