Westworld (1973)

MENTION THE NAME “MICHAEL CRICHTON,” and most people think of the best-selling author of thrillers such as The Andromeda Strain, Congo, Disclosure, and Rising Sun.

But in the early 1970s – after witnessing the animatronic people at Disneyland’s “Pirates of the Caribbean” ride – Crichton wrote and directed his feature-film debut, Westworld.

In the near-future of Westworld, people can spend $1,000 a day to visit Delos, an adult-themed amusement park where guests live out their wildest fantasies. Comprised of three worlds (Medieval World, Roman World, and Westworld), Delos is inhabited by robots who look, act, sound, and even bleed just like the human guests. Like Disney World, Delos is supported by an elaborate underground control center, where a staff of technicians controls the robots and the scenarios, and provides repair to robots damaged in the action taking place.

It’s Westworld where our leading men are headed: manly man John (James Brolin) and nebbish Peter (Richard Benjamin). Once they arrive, the two have lots of fun with saloon whiskey, loose women, bar fights, and jailbreaks. They even engage in shootouts, often with a steely-eyed troublemaker dressed in black (Yul Brynner). Everything’s good-time, rootin’-tootin’ fun – until the robots start malfunctioning and killing the guests.

Throughout Westworld, Crichton teases at the potential breakdown of the Delos parks: the supervisor (Alan Oppenheimer) voices his concern, a malfunctioning robo-rattlesnake bites John, and a Medieval World wench (Anne Randall) refuses a guest’s seduction. These minor glitches soon develop into to deadly attacks on the guests, with a fatal swordfight in Medieval World, a violent riot in Roman World, and Brynner’s gunslinger coldly gunning down a Westworld guest.

While Brynner is in Westworld for less than half its running time, his robotic gunslinger steals the film. In an homage to his character from The Magnificent Seven (he even wears the same outfit), Brynner portrays the perfect blend of ice-cold killer and calculating humanoid, with a piercing stare made extra chilling by Brynner sporting light-reflecting contact lenses.


After shooting one of our leading men dead, Westworld’s gunslinger methodically pursues the survivor through all three Delos parks – thumbs hooked in his gun belt, eyes fixed on his target, and using thermal vision (shown in POV) more than a decade before Predator.

Yes, Westworld has its plot holes, it dips into camp on occasion, and a lot of the dialogue (especially between Brolin and Benjamin) is disposable. But it’s still a very entertaining film that’s essentially the blueprint for Crichton’s more ambitious themepark-run-amok story: his 1990 novel Jurassic Park.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

Westworld is rated PG, though if it was released today it may have been PG-13.
Violence/Scariness: Several people and robots are shot or stabbed, with blood pouring from the wounds; a robot is set on fire and fully engulfed in flames; John and Peter shoot a robotic rattlesnake; the Delos technicians suffocate after the park’s breakdown cuts off their air supply.
Sex/Nudity: John and Peter sleep with robot hookers at the saloon; one of the hookers is shown topless from the back.
Profanity/Language: Two occurrences of “God damn it.”

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Westworld feels like a film you’d enjoy by yourself, with friends, or possibly with your tween or teen son. Unless your FilmMother is a sci-fi fan, or a Crichton fan who wants to see his filmmaking debut, I’m guessing she’ll pass.

Boy, have we got a vacation for YOU!

 Westworld
* Director: Michael Crichton
* Screenwriter: Michael Crichton
* Stars: Richard Benjamin, James Brolin, Yul Brynner, Dick Van Patten, Alan Oppenheimer
* MPAA Rating: PG


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Rango (2011)

WHEN IT COMES TO animated feature films, there’s Pixar, DreamWorks, Blue Sky Studios (to a lesser extent), then everyone else.

Sure, Sony Animation Studios delivered the great Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs in 2009, but this summer they brought us The Smurfs – and from what I’ve heard, it’s smurfin’ terrible.

Now there’s a new player in the feature-length animation game: Paramount Pictures, who teamed with Nickelodeon earlier this year to bring us Rango…

Plot:
A pet chameleon (Johnny Depp) bitten by the acting bug is tossed from his family’s vehicle during a close call on a desert highway. He stumbles into the creature-sized western town of Dirt, dubs himself Rango, and uses his acting skills to make the townsfolk believe he’s a stone-cold killer who shouldn’t be messed with. Convinced of his toughness, the people of Dirt see Rango as the man who can help them solve the mystery of their vanishing water supply – and in turn, save their town.

Critique:
With Rango, director Gore Verbinski (who worked with Depp on the Pirates of The Caribbean films) delivers a fresh, offbeat, occasionally dark, and wonderfully unique picture. Working from an intelligent, homage-laden, and often funny script by John Logan (Sweeney Todd, The Aviator), Verbinski keeps everything moving at a steady clip without it feeling rushed, while making masterful use of foregrounds and depth (no doubt to emphasize the 3-D when Rango was in theaters).

Everything in Rango is wonderfully drawn and animated by Industrial Light and Magic (ILM). There’s jaw-dropping scenery of deserts and western landscapes, and the frontier town of Dirt is right out of a classic western – featuring rustic saloons, storefronts, and dusty streets. The townsfolk include a very colorful cast of creatures filling the standard western roles: the doctor, the bartender, the banker, the mayor (Toy Story 3’s Ned Beatty) the village idiot, the Native American, and yes, even the ladies of the oldest profession.

Casting Depp as a chameleon is an especially inspired choice, given his ability to transform himself into such diverse characters as Edward Scissorhands, Ed Wood, and Jack Sparrow. And it’s the ability to blend in which helps Rango hustle his way to the position of sheriff and leader of Dirt’s people as they struggle to find water to keep their town alive.

Rango also features a great mariachi-meets-Dick-Dale soundtrack by the legendary Hans Zimmer, with additional songs by Los Lobos. (Bonus: You haven’t lived until you’ve heard “Flight of the Valkyries” done with banjos.)


While it’s not for all ages (see below), Rango is an original and highly entertaining adventure with a heart at its sun-baked center. Fans of animation will love it. Fans of westerns will love it. Fans of both will most likely have a new addition to their list of favorite films.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

Rango is rated PG. As you may expect from a western, there’s a-cussin’, and a-drinkin’, and a-shootin’ goin’ on in this here flick.
Language: There are a handful of “hells,” a cut-off “You son of a –,” and the phrases, “I’ll kill you, you stupid lizard!” “Sign the damn paper!” and “Go to hell!”
Smoking/Drinking: Several characters smoke cigars; there are subtle and obvious references to drinking and being drunk.
Violence/Scariness: There are numerous threats of violence; several animals are killed by being shot, crushed, or drowned; there are mentions of hanging suspected criminals; one character beats his grown sons with a stick; as a laugh, an armadillo is shown after being run over by a car; and Rattlesnake Jake (Bill Nighy), while an amazing feat of animation, could be scary to little children – especially when squeezing a potential victim and saying, “Look into my eyes. I wanna see you die.” (Didn’t Johnny Cash do that to a man in Reno?)
Humor: Most of the adult jokes are probably too quick and over the heads of kids, with mentions of “fecal matter,” someone’s prostate, and taking a laxative. At one point, Rango asks a naked torso of a Barbie doll, “Are those real?” There are also many citizens of Dirt with missing or artificial limbs, and one character goes through the entire film with an arrow through his head (via his eye socket).

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Even if she’s not a fan of westerns, she’ll most likely enjoy Rango. The characters and story are deeper than expected, and there are potential sparks between Rango and Bean (Isla Fisher), the town heroine.

No fair! I can't win a two-on-one staring contest!

Rango
* Director: Gore Verbinski
* Screenwriter: John Logan
* Stars: Johnny Depp, Isla Fisher, Abigail Breslin, Ned Beatty, Alfred Molina, Bill Nighy, Stephen Root, Harry Dean Stanton, Ray Winstone
* MPAA Rating: PG (rude humor, language, action, and smoking)


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The Legend of God’s Gun (2007)

THE BACK OF THE DVD BOX for The Legend of God’s Gun declares the film to be (their caps) “A GRINDHOUSE ROCK-N-ROLL SPAGHETTI WESTERN!!!”

Well, any movie that tries to fit itself into that many hip genres automatically gets me suspicious – suspicious that the film will try too hard (or not hard enough) to meld all those film styles into one cohesive, enjoyable film.

Plot:
Something about an avenging, gun-toting preacher (Bobby Bones), a reluctant sheriff (Mike Bruce), and a goofy bandito named El Sobero (Kirkpatrick Thomas).

Critique:

The Legend of God’s Gun incorporates a lot of the elements from the grindhouse and spaghetti western genres: bad, jumpy cuts and quick zooms; grainy, washed-out footage; bad looping of dialogue; acting that feels like everything was a first take; a tinny, mono soundtrack; and abundant use of a split-screen.

But while it’s kitschy and fun to watch older grindhouse and spaghetti western movies today, everything about The Legend of God’s Gun quickly feels like less of an homage and more of a gimmick.

Even the worst flicks from those two genres have a basic premise to hook the viewer. Writer/director Mike Bruce (also starring as the aforementioned sheriff) should’ve been less concerned about paying tribute to his favorite genres and more focused on a linear, compelling story.

Despite cool poster art and a great tagline (“You are about to leave this earth with many regrets”), The Legend of God’s Gun is a chore to sit through. Even at only 79 minutes, it will frustrate the most die-hard grindhouse and spaghetti western fans. And with most of the cast being rock stars by trade (from bands such as Brian Jonestown Massacre, Spindrift, and The Morlocks), it adds fuel to the argument that musicians make bad actors.

I’m fully aware that The Legend of God’s Gun is an independent film, and with that can come sacrifices in budget and production value. But that’s no excuse for the dips in quality that plague it. At times, it feels less like an independent movie and more like an experimental student film.

The Legend of God’s Gun achieves a dubious double-whammy: It manages to both overshoot and undershoot in its attempts to honor two classic genres – and in the end delivers an unwatchable film.

Rating:

Will your kids want to watch it?

I’d say keep children away from The Legend of God’s Gun – not because of its objectionable content, but because it’s a horrible film. On the subject of the former: multiple shootings, adult language, a scene of necrophilia, Colt and some lady friends get high in an opium den, and a brief glimpse of bouncing boobs.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Do not let her watch this film, even if she thinks she wants to.

I wish a had a pencil-thin mustache…

The Legend of God’s Gun
• Director: Mike Bruce
• Screenwriter: Mike Bruce
• Stars: Bobby Bones, Kirkpatrick Thomas, Mike Bruce, Julie Patterson, Scott Dyeswell
• MPAA Rating: N/A


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High Plains Drifter (1973)

THROUGH THE HAZE of a desert plain, a stranger (Clint Eastwood) on horseback appears in the distance. He makes his way across the plain, down a hillside, past a graveyard, and into the small lakeside desert town of Lago.

The stranger stops in Lago’s saloon for a drink, and here’s the greeting he gets:


Oh, and after the above mayhem, he proceeds to rape the insulting town tramp (Marianna Hill).

Welcome to the first 10 minutes of High Plains Drifter.

Plot:
The people of Lago hire the nameless stranger to protect them from a returning trio of outlaws (led by Eastwood regular Geoffrey Lewis) who have a score to settle with the town. While many of the townsfolk want the stranger to protect their town, several others (who want the secrets of the town preserved) scheme to have him removed…permanently.


Critique:

There are many elements that make High Plains Drifter such a powerful film. The strong script by Ernest Tidyman (The French Connection, Shaft). The eerie, piercing, foreboding musical score by Dee Barton. The performances of the ensemble cast. But a large amount of the film’s success belongs to the superb direction by Eastwood.

High Plains Drifter was only Eastwood’s second film as director (and his first western), but already he was showing his skills behind the camera. In addition to a strong use of point-of-view camerawork, Eastwood fills the film with masterful shots using angles, reveals, foregrounds, backgrounds, mirrors, lighting, and shadows. He spends exactly the right amount of time with each shot; not a second is wasted on any given scene.

A thesis could be written about how Lago is an allegory for Hell. (Tidyman’s script is truly on a literary level.) Some examples:
• The stranger rides down a hillside to enter Lago (a descent into hell)
• The following passages of dialogue after the stranger demands every building in town be painted red…
o Preacher (Robert Donner): “You can’t mean the church, too!” Stranger: “I mean especially the church.”
o Bartender (Paul Brinegar): “When we get done, this place is gonna look like hell.”
o Later, after the hotel owner (Ted Hartley) declares, “200 gallons of blood-red paint…it couldn’t be worse if the devil himself had ridden right into Lago!” – we cut immediately to the stranger sleeping in bed.
• And when you see him backlit during the fiery climax, wielding his bullwhip, you’d swear the stranger is the devil himself.

Eastwood’s stranger is an antihero for the ages, and High Plains Drifter is a dark morality tale that just happens to be a western. As the story unfolds, it becomes all too clear who the stranger embodies – an “avenging devil” who’s come to collect on the sins of the town’s past.

High Plains Drifter often gets dismissed or lumped in with Eastwood’s “spaghetti westerns” (A Fistful of Dollars, The Good The Bad & The Ugly) or lackluster efforts like Hang ‘em High. I admit, I was guilty of this perception until I actually watched High Plains Drifter years ago. It’s now one of my top 25 favorite films of all time. (See the others on my profile page or my reviews under the label “filmfather favorite.”)

Trivia:
• “Lago Averno” was the entrance to Hell in Dante's Inferno.
• Shortly after the film's release, Eastwood wrote to John Wayne, suggesting they make a western together. Wayne sent back an angry letter, denouncing High Plains Drifter for its violence and revisionist portrayal of the Old West. Eastwood didn’t reply back, and they never worked together.

Rating:

Will your kids want to watch it?

High Plains Drifter may be a western, and kids may love cowboys, but this is one dark, R-rated western that young’ins shouldn’t see till they’re older. Many people are shot, a woman is raped, two men are whipped to death, and another is hung by a bullwhip. There are also a couple of morning-after bedroom scenes with Eastwood and a lady friend. And to top it off, a horse is shot and a little person (The Wizard of Oz’s Billy Curtis) gets punched out by a full-sized man.

Will your FilmMother like it?

The perception (correct or not) is that girls don’t like westerns. Well, I often say that High Plains Drifter is a western for people who don’t like westerns – but love a good tale of morality, revenge, and the price for covering sins of the past. Also, push the literary angle if you think that’ll play to her intellect; I’m still trying to get it to work on my English-teacher wife. (How about tonight, honey?)

Dammit, I said RED. This is clearly mauve. That’s it, I’m off the project.

High Plains Drifter
• Director: Clint Eastwood
• Screenwriter: Ernest Tidyman
• Stars: Clint Eastwood, Verna Bloom, Marianna Hill, Mitch Ryan, Jack Ging, Stefan Gierasch, Ted Hartley, Billy Curtis, Geoffrey Lewis, Walter Barnes
• MPAA Rating: R


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