Superfights (1995)

SOMETIMES, I WORRY that I won’t see another film worthy of Trashterpiece Theatre. But then along comes a movie like Superfights, and all is right with the world.

“Superfights,” as if I have to tell you, are a type of pro wrestling/martial arts hybrid – “where no one knows the outcome!” the announcer assures us – with Superfighters sporting gimmicky nicknames such as Budokai, Dark Cloud, and Night Stalker. Mega-fan Jack Cody (Brandon Gaines) attends every event, even teaching himself the moves he sees his favorite Superfighters perform. (Conveniently, he works in a warehouse full of mannequins, which he uses as practice dummies.)

After Jack becomes a local celebrity by beating up a trio of would-be muggers, he’s recruited by Superfights president Mr. Sawyer (Keith Vitali) to compete in the ring. Jack trains with Angel (Kelly Gallant), a freakishly muscular female Superfighter who overtly flirts with Jack but may have ulterior motives. Watch in amazement as Angel trains Jack using the latest advancements in 1995 technology, including punching at a stream of light and dodging giant phallic pipes that dart out of the walls.

Oh, I almost forgot: Mr. Sawyer’s Superfights empire might be a front for extortion, drug running, mind control, and murder.

Superfights captures the pure essence of direct-to-video, B-movie action flicks of the mid-‘90s. The B-level acting. The hokey, overly serious training montages. The meathead, be-the-best mentality of the fighters. The gratuitous violence. The melodramatic soundtrack, awash in mid-‘90s synth and squealing guitar riffs. This one’s got it all, set against the martial arts hotbed of…Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

The film also features other ridiculous moments, such as Jack getting attacked by a ninja while jogging in broad daylight – a ninja who, while fleeing, literally tells Jack to “just say no” to the “vitamins” supplied by Angel as part of Jack’s Superfighters regimen.

All that being said, the fight scenes in Superfights are in-sane. Director and fight choreographer Tony Leung gives us dozens of fights featuring rapid-fire exchanges, impressive editing, and over-exaggerated impact with blood, sweat, and spit flying everywhere. It culminates in a multi-fight finale between Cody and Sawyer that’s so amazing, I immediately replayed it once the credits started to roll.

A real-life third-degree black belt, Gaines’ role in Superfights was his first and last in films; he’s now a public speaker, rabbi, and acupuncturist living in California. Gallant, unfortunately, has had her share of run-ins with the law since Superfights, including a wrongful death lawsuit and recent arrests for DUI and probation violation.

Highly entertaining and a candidate for repeat viewing, Superfights delivers the goods in both martial arts action and cheeseballiness – rightfully earning its spot in the Trashterpiece pantheon.

(Bonus: Watch for a brief appearance by wrestling legend Rob Van Dam as a doomed Superfighter. His fight was originally supposed to be much shorter, but the filmmakers were so impressed with his physical abilities that they made his fight longer and took a full day to shoot.)

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

Violence: The Superfights get increasingly violent, leading to bloodied faces and broken bones. Superfighters beat up citizens and two-bit hoods while collecting “protection” money. Several people are beaten to death, many with blood spurting from their mouths. A man is bloodily decapitated by a ceiling fan.
Sex/Nudity: Angel is seen briefly nude from behind as she enters a shower. Jack and Angel share a kiss wearing nothing but bathrobes. Angel makes several overt advances on Jack, with lots of grabbing and groping. Sawyer and Angel are shown getting dressed post-coitus.
Language: “A**hole,” “bulls**t,” “s**t”
Drugs: Superfighters are shown taking Sawyer’s steroid-laced, mind-controlling “vitamins.” A man snorts cocaine.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

If she’s the kind of person who enjoys B-movies and talking back to the screen, but doesn’t mind some violence and bloodshed thrown in the mix, Superfights could be a great film for you to share. Otherwise, check it out yourself or with some friends.

Experience the awesome Superfights trailer,

then try in vain to fight your urge to see the film:

Superfights
* Director: Tony Leung
* Screenwriter: Keith W. Strandberg
* Stars: Brandon Gaines, Feihong Yu, Keith Vitali, Kelly Gallant, Chuck Jeffreys, Cliff Lenderman, Brian Ruth, Patrick Lung-Kong, Karen Bill
* MPAA Rating: PG-13


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Rise of the Guardians (2012)

What is your center?

That’s the question posed by the imaginative and inspiring Rise of the Guardians, where Santa Claus (Alec Baldwin), the Easter Bunny (Hugh Jackman), the Tooth Fairy (Rango’s Isla Fisher), and the Sandman try to recruit the reluctant, wayward Jack Frost (Chris Pine) to join them in the fight against Pitch Black (Jude Law), a malicious spirit determined to take over the world and destroy the innocent beliefs and dreams of children.

Granted, the idea of Santa Claus as a Russian émigré with tattooed forearms, or a six-foot Easter Bunny who wields boomerangs and an Aussie accent, is an acquired taste. But director Peter Ramsey soon puts those concerns to rest by giving us deep, fleshed-out characters to believe in without having to delve into their origins.

Our guide to this world is the apprehensive Jack Frost, as we follow his quest and internal struggle to determine if he has what it takes to become a Guardian – in other words, to stop making mischief and recognize his true calling.

What’s at stake here, as Pitch is quite aware, is that if kids don’t believe in the Guardians, they will cease to exist. With the help of a young boy named Jamie (Dakota Goyo) as their unwavering believer, our heroes attempt to prove that even the scariest of boogeymen is no match for the bravery and beliefs of children.

The film features enthralling, breathtaking animation in which Ramsey and his team take full advantage of the 3D without going overboard or making it seem like a retro-fit. The battles between the Guardians and Pitch’s army of nightmare creatures are truly amazing, including a show-stopping finale involving more characters than you can shake a freezing staff at.

With Rise of the Guardians, it’s another crowning achievement for DreamWorks Animation (How to Train Your Dragon, Kung Fu Panda 2) as they pull even further ahead of Pixar and its recent lackluster offerings (Cars 2, Brave).

If you didn’t experience Rise of the Guardians in theaters, here’s your chance to see what an amazing film you missed. Your kids will believe. And so will you.

Rating:

What did FilmBoy think?

He had high hopes going in to Rise of the Guardians. His verdict? “It was even better than I thought it would be.” In fact, after our whole family watched it, he ran off with the disc and immediately watched it two more times. Can you say “ringing endorsement?”

Is it suitable for your kids?

Rise of the Guardians is rated PG for “thematic elements and some mildly scary action.” The idea of Pitch turning kids’ dreams into nightmares may be scary for very young children. Pitch kidnaps Tooth’s fairies and later threatens to crush one of them in his hand. Santa wields two large swords when doling battle with Pitch’s army. One of the Guardians appears to be destroyed by Pitch. Jack’s actions inadvertently cancel Easter. Jack’s backstory (shown in flashback) involves him drowning after falling through the ice on a lake while rescuing his little sister. The Tooth Fairy (ironically and comically) knocks out one of Pitch’s teeth. There’s no inappropriate language, aside from the Easter Bunny’s occasional use of the Aussie adjective “bloody” and Pitch tells the Easter Bunny to “go suck an egg.”

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Yes. Rise of the Guardians is full of tremendous storytelling, amazing animation, and the theme of keeping children’s beliefs alive. Make it essential viewing for Family Movie Night.


Rise of the Guardians
* Director: Peter Ramsey
* Screenwriter: David Lindsay-Abaire
* Stars: Chris Pine, Alec Baldwin, Jude Law, Isla Fisher, Hugh Jackman, Dakota Goyo
* MPAA Rating: PG


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The Sadist (1963)

THE SADIST OFTEN GETS OVERLOOKED and lumped in with the large amount of B-movie, drive-in dreck released during the mid-1960s – which is a shame, because it’s a taut, effective, and surprisingly brutal film for its era.

Shot in real time, The Sadist’s plot is unassumingly simple: Three schoolteachers on their way to a Dodgers ballgame – Carl (Don Russell), Ed (Richard Alden), and Doris (Helen Hovey) – have car trouble and pull into an isolated auto yard. There, they run into crazed killer Charlie (Arch Hall, Jr.) and his young, nubile girlfriend Judy (Marilyn Manning).


Working from his own script, director James Landis does a superb job of creating tension. Even early in the film, as the teachers arrive at the auto yard, Landis sets the foreboding tone: When Ed yells for assistance and all he hears is his echo, it’s clear any later cries for help will fall on deaf ears.

The Sadist also features fantastic camerawork, including great use of foregrounds and depth by a young Vilmos Zsigmond, whose later legendary cinematography includes Deliverance, The Deer Hunter, and an Oscar for Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

Just as Charlie shows no mercy for his hostages, Landis gives no relief to the audience. The Sadist is shockingly brutal and graphic for its time: Charlie verbally and physically tortures the teachers, and several scenes are indeed sadistic. The best example is the infamous “soda scene,” where Charlie tells one of his victims he’s going to shoot them in the head once he’s done his bottle of soda – all while the victim is on their knees, begging for their life. (An additional form of torture: Carl, Ed, and Doris can hear the ballgame they’re missing as it plays on the car radio.)

Hall’s performance as Charlie falls between nutjob killer and goofy caricature, and this combination is what makes him so frightening. With a twisted grimace and a maniacal giggle (which Hall admits he stole from Richard Widmark’s hitman in Kiss of Death), Charlie also shows on several occasions that he may be crazy, but he’s not stupid. He’s often one step ahead of his captors, whether it’s counting the number of bullets he’s used or showing he knows more about cars than Ed thinks he does.

One of the first films loosely based on 1950s serial killer Charles Starkweather (followed by the better-known Badlands and Natural Born Killers), The Sadist still packs a wallop nearly 50 years later. With a cast of five, one location, and a premise that (sadly) still resonates today, it’s a gem worth seeing.

aka Sweet Baby Charlie.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

No. Charlie menaces Carl, Ed, and Judy nonstop, threatening them with a gun and a knife. That’s on top of the actual violence: Charlie pistol-whips Carl and assaults Doris, kicking her and shoving her face in the dirt; Doris is slapped by Ed and Judy on separate occasions; a man is shot in the head in close-up; four others are shot dead; two other bodies are shown dead (shot by Charlie before Carl, Ed, and Doris arrived); Charlie talks about people he's killed in his travels; and a person is bitten to death by snakes. Also, Ed utters a minor profanity.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

The Sadist’s combination of violent content and being shot in black and white may not be appealing to some viewers. Unless your FilmMother has a penchant for ‘60s B-movies or films about thrill-killers, you may be watching this one alone.

 

Outta my way…I wanna carve my initials on this tree.

Watch The Sadist in its entirety:

The Sadist
* Director: James Landis
* Screenwriter: James Landis
* Stars: Arch Hall Jr., Richard Alden, Marilyn Manning, Don Russell, Helen Hovey
* MPAA Rating: N/A


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21 Jump Street (2012)

MOVIES BASED ON OLD TV SHOWS are always a gamble. For every successful adaption like The Fugitive, there are countless misfires and failures: Bewitched, Wild Wild West, The Avengers (no, not that one; this one), and The Dukes of Hazzard, to name a few. The challenge is whether to bring something fresh and different to the property, or be faithful to the original.

Luckily, the filmmaking team of Phil Lord and Chris Miller (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs) chose the former with 21 Jump Street, a radical and hilarious revival of the late ‘80s series about young undercover cops specializing in youth-related crimes. Here, two young policemen – nerdy Schmidt (Jonah Hill) and dumb jock Jenko (Channing Tatum) – are sent undercover as students at a local high school to bust a drug ring led by the charismatic and popular Eric (Dave Franco).

On the first day, Schmidt and Jenko accidentally get their undercover identities switched, sticking shy non-athlete Schmidt in the drama club and track team, and academically challenged Jenko in advanced chemistry. They soon find things have changed since their high school days: intellectualism, activism, and the environment are in, while bullying and mocking overachievers are out. And so begins a reversal of fortunes as Schmidt enjoys the immense popularity he never found in his high school days, while Jenko learns what it’s like to be ostracized and insulted by the “in” crowd.

But back to the funny, which 21 Jump Street delivers in spades. The riotous jokes come at a rapid pace – so quickly that you risk missing a gag because you’re still laughing at the previous one. (The two funniest scenes: Hill and Tatum trying unsuccessfully to make each other vomit after taking a drug, then later tripping on the same drug while trying to do various school activities.)

Hill and Tatum are one of the best odd-couple pairings in recent movie memory. And while Hill is funny as expected, the comedic skills of Channing Tatum are a revelation. Put this man in more comedies. After his emotionally stunted performance in The Vow, his turn in 21 Jump Street is a monumental redemption. Running closely behind in the laughs department is Ice Cube as Hill and Tatum’s hilariously profane police captain.

21 Jump Street also benefits from a supporting cast that knows comedy, including Ellie Kemper (Bridesmaids) as an overzealous, hypersexual chemistry teacher and Rob Riggle as a crass gym coach. (Also watch for cameos by original Jump Streeters Johnny Depp, Peter DeLuise, and Holly Robinson Peete.)

The laughs in 21 Jump Street take a back seat during the middle of the film to advance plot and character development, but they don’t stay dormant long. And that’s the beauty of Lord and Miller’s ability to balance hilarity with heart, profanity with personality. This is the funniest R-rated comedy since the original Hangover or Hill’s earlier hit, Superbad. See it now.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

Nope. While hilarious, 21 Jump Street contains substantial drug use, brief nudity and sexual situations, and almost non-stop profanities. In addition, several people are shot (one person grossly loses his manhood), hit by cars, or blown up. Oh, and Tatum vomits on Hill. Don’t ask.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

My FilmMother and I watched 21 Jump Street together, and she laughed as much as I did. If your FilmMother’s cool with the R-rated aspects described above, I’d say this is definitely one you can share together.

"Ow, stop it – my nurple can't get any purpler!"

21 Jump Street
* Directors: Phil Lord, Chris Miller
* Screenwriter: Michael Bacall
* Stars: Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Brie Larson, Dave Franco, Rob Riggle, Ice Cube, Dax Flame, Chris Parnell, Ellie Kemper
* MPAA Rating: R


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We Need To Talk About Kevin (2011)

WE SEE IT WAY TOO OFTEN: A school shooting where students die at the hands of one of their classmates. We eventually learn more about the killer – what he was like, if there were any warning signs, etc. – but what about the parents of such a child? What life is left to live after the kid you raised is responsible for a mass killing?

That’s the premise for director Lynne Ramsay’s grim and unsettling We Need To Talk About Kevin, as we follow Eva (Tilda Swinton) while she tries to rebuild her life after her son Kevin kills several classmates at his high school with a bow and arrow.

A former high-profile writer and traveler, Eva now works at a two-bit travel agency, consumes large amounts of wine and pills to dull the pain, and lives in a tiny, beat-down home that, as the film opens, has been splattered with red paint by vandals. As Eva struggles with her daily existence, we’re shown flashbacks of how she went from carefree newlywed to bearing and raising Kevin – a cold, emotionless, hurtful child played at different ages by Rock Duer (toddler), Jasper Newell (child), and Ezra Miller (teen).

Each scenario in We Need To Talk About Kevin is more unsettling and disturbing than the previous one. Ramsey and co-writer/husband Rory Kinnear make each interaction between Eva and Kevin uncomfortable, pitiful, or downright heartbreaking, and any occasional glimmer of hope for these two to form a true mother-son bond is quickly dashed by the next scene.

The performances in Kevin are top caliber. Swinton is in virtually every scene, yet barely speaks (her total dialogue is 30 minutes, tops); her expressions and body language are what speak for Eva, and in volumes. The always reliable John C. Reilly plays Eva’s pushover, all-is-well husband Franklin, who’s more of a buddy to Kevin than a father and oblivious to how Kevin treats Eva. Ezra Miller is creepily effective as teen Kevin, combining adolescent attitude with a dead-behind-the-eyes stare that gets under your skin and stays there. And while the plot of the film is pinned on Kevin’s high school rampage, it’s his years as a gradeschooler that are the most terrifying. Jasper Newell delivers a scarily realistic performance as a child who’s become a cruel, sadistic sociopath by the age of eight.

Ramsey’s use of red permeates the film, seen in everything from food and clothing to the flooding lights of emergency vehicles at the scene of Kevin’s massacre. And while Eva’s ongoing struggle to clean the blood-red paint off her porch may seem a bit too symbolic, it almost becomes its own subplot. We want to see if, both literally and metaphorically, Eva can ever cleanse herself from what happened with Kevin – or if she’ll be permanently stained, forever marked as the mom who’s kid killed his classmates.

Kevin does have its debits. Occasionally, Miller’s portrayal of the evil Kevin teeters on caricature. Some “tell-tale signs” of Kevin's penchant for violence – a fascination with weapons, killing the family pet – could be seen as a bit cliché. And the ending may have some viewers wanting more of an explanation or closure.

With We Need To Talk About Kevin, Lynne Ramsey creates one of the most gripping, unnerving horror/thrillers in recent history. It’s extremely powerful, yet very difficult to watch. That goes double if you’re a parent.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

We Need To Talk About Kevin is rated R for “disturbing violence and behavior, some sexuality, and language.” There are several scenes of the aftermath of Kevin’s attack at his high school, with bloody bodies carried out on stretchers. Several people, including a young child, are shown dead by Kevin’s arrows. A few sexual situations are shown in shadows or silhouette, except for one fully lit scene where Eva catches Kevin in a compromising position in the bathroom. In terms of alcohol and drugs, Eva consumes a lot of wine and pills. Ironically, teenagers about Kevin's age and older would be the appropriate audience.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

It’s a safe bet that We Need To Talk About Kevin will be a tough film for any mother to watch, especially one with young or teenage children. You might want to watch it yourself, then decide if she’d be up for it.


We Need To Talk About Kevin
* Director: Lynne Ramsey
* Screenwriters: Lynne Ramsey, Rory Kinnear
* Stars: Tilda Swinton, John C. Reilly, Ezra Miller, Jasper Newell
* MPAA Rating: R



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The Muppets (2011)

REALITY CHECK: There are now generations of children who haven’t been properly exposed to the special brand of adorable anarchy that is the Muppets. This is a crime.

Apparently, actor Jason Segel (Forgetting Sarah Marshall) felt the same way. Drawing on his fond childhood memories of the original Muppet movies and The Muppet Show, he championed a new feature film for his formerly famous felt friends (fun fact: I love alliteration). That film, simply titled The Muppets, opened over the Thanksgiving holiday.

Plot:
The premise is inspiring, and has one foot in pseudo-reality: The Muppets disbanded years ago, and no one has heard from (or cared about) them since. But this may change as Kermit, Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy, and the gang reunite to throw a telethon to save the Muppet Theater from being demolished by a greedy oil tycoon, Tex Richman (a perfectly evil Chris Cooper). Leading the charge are two brothers: human Gary (Segel) and his Muppet brother Walter (voice of Peter Linz), who dreams of one day being an official member of the Muppets himself.

Critique:

In creating The Muppets, Segel (who co-wrote the script) and director James Bobin had two daunting tasks: 1) Satisfy the nostalgia of Gen X-ers raised on the original Muppet movies and The Muppet Show; 2) Hook the current generation of children who only know Muppets from the benign edutainment of Sesame Street.

Did they succeed? Regarding the latter, time will tell if there’s room today among kids’ fast-paced, CGI-laden entertainment for a bunch of felt characters who haven’t been big since the Reagan administration. But for parents who were raised on Kermit, Fozzie, and Miss Piggy’s antics, The Muppets hits all the sweet spots of nostalgia. If you’re a Gen X-er (like yours truly), you’ll feel like a kid again as the film shows clips of the old Muppet Show, pans past framed pictures of former guest hosts, and hauls out a new yet faithful rendition of “The Rainbow Connection,” the signature song from the original Muppet Movie.

Like the Muppet films that preceded it, the humor in The Muppets is very self-aware. Clever bits include traveling “by map” to get places faster, and the Muppets agreeing that a montage would be the best use of time for rounding up the remaining members of their gang to save the theater.

The Muppets works best when the humans don’t get in the way. Yes, there are human villains and a slew of celebrity cameos in the original trilogy of Muppet films (The Muppet Movie, Great Muppet Caper, and The Muppets Take Manhattan). But the Muppets didn’t share the main storylines in those films with anyone who wasn’t a fellow felt creation. While it’s understandable Segel would want to write himself into his dream project, you wonder how much leaner the film might have been had he relegated himself to a cameo or supporting role.

The Muppets’ original musical numbers by Flight of the Concords’ Bret McKenzie are good, the standouts being the big opener “Life’s a Happy Song” and the hysterically overwrought “Man or Muppet.” However, the licensed soundtrack choices are trite and uninspired, including tired anthems such as “Back in Black,” “Bad to the Bone,” and “We Built This City.”

Another area that’s anemic is the lackluster roster of celebrity cameos, which in past Muppet films has been populated either by current A-listers or Hollywood royalty. To compare: The original Muppet Movie has Milton Berle, Bob Hope, Mel Brooks, James Coburn, Dom DeLuise, Madeline Kahn, Richard Pryor, Steve Martin, and Orson Welles. With The Muppets, we get Emily Blunt, Judd Hirsch, Ken Jeong, Jim Parsons, Sarah Silverman, John Krasinski, Emily Blunt, and the kid from ABC’s Modern Family. (One plus: Neil Patrick Harris’ cameo is both fleeting and funny.) You also have to wonder if kids who watch The Muppets generations from now will know or remember Jack Black (Kung Fu Panda 2), the “celebrity host” (emphasis on the air quotes) that the Muppets get to emcee the telethon.

Soundtrack and celebrities aside, nearly everything about The Muppets feels right. It’s fun to watch, and it exposes today’s kids to the joys of Muppet mayhem. After a rousing finale, the audience in our theater applauded. And as we left the theater, I was happy.

But once we got home, the cinematic equivalent of buyer’s remorse set in. Did Segel and Bobin just use a large chunk of Muppets nostalgia to make their movie work? Aside from some new, uneven musical numbers, what did they bring to the Muppet legacy to re-establish it, as was surely the plan with this project?

Look at it this way: Midway through The Muppets, Miss Piggy declares they’re going to get a celebrity host for their telethon “by any means necessary.” The same goes for the film itself. If it means nostalgically hijacking the Muppet memories of Gen X-ers to get a new generation of kids to know, cherish, and bond with Kermit and company, fine. Whatever it takes. The truth is, as you’re watching those memories unfold on screen, you won’t care. You’ll just be happy to see the Muppets again – and that today’s generation of kids can now discover what they’ve been missing.

Rating:

What did Dash and Jack-Jack think?

They loved The Muppets, laughing frequently and eating up the antics. Some of the plot logistics may have gone over their heads, but it didn’t faze the fun they were having – though Jack-Jack was quick to point out, upon Fozzie demonstrating his “fart shoes:” “See, that’s why it’s rated PG.”

Is it suitable for your kids?

The Muppets is rated PG for mild rude humor, aka the aforementioned fart shoes. Aside from those shoes, a comical fistfight breaking out at a relaxation center, and some menacing by Cooper’s Tex Richman, there’s nothing terribly inappropriate for kids.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Absolutely. And she should. Despite its minor flaws, she’ll love The Muppets. See it as a family; if you don’t have kids, see it as a couple. It’s worth it.

"Wow, there it is...where all the Oompa-Loompas make Everlasting Gobstoppers..."
"Uh, Gary, you're thinking of a different place..."

The Muppets
* Director: James Bobin
* Screenwriters: Jason Segel, Nicholas Stoller
* Stars: Jason Segel, Amy Adams, Chris Cooper, Jack Black
* MPAA Rating: PG


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