Turkey Shoot (1982)

AFTER WATCHING FILMMAKER Mark Hartley’s fantastic documentary Not Quite Hollywood (about Australian exploitation films of the ‘70s and ‘80s), I came to one conclusion: I had to see Turkey Shoot.

In a near-future (“1995”) prison camp where inmates are set loose and hunted for sport, Turkey Shoot stars Olivia Hussey (Romeo & Juliet, Black Christmas) and Steve Railsback (Helter Skelter, The Stunt Man) as accused radicals who are sentenced to the camp and rely on each other to survive the conditions – and ultimately, survive the hunt as they become the “game” the camp’s leaders plan to track down and kill like wild animals.

Based on the scenes in Not Quite Hollywood, Turkey Shoot looked to be a ridiculously over-the-top flick filled with action, cartoonishly graphic violence, and ample amounts of gratuitous nudity. If only it were that awesome. The titular “turkey shoot” (hunting the prisoners for sport) doesn’t happen until 40 minutes in, and things are slow until then. Even during the shocking act of man hunting man, the action is lacking and the pursuits far from exciting.

 
Hussey doesn’t get to do much besides act like a damsel in distress (save for a few acts of savagery in the film’s climax) and Railsback is passable as the smirking antihero. But the most memorable character is Ritter – the bald, towering, sadistic guard played by Roger Ward. From the first time we meet Ritter, as he beats a woman prisoner half his size to death, we know he’ll show no mercy to anyone who doesn’t follow the rules of the camp.

Not Quite Hollywood made Turkey Shoot look like a balls-out, gratuitous, violent free-for-all worthy of Trashterpiece Theatre. But the frustrating reality is that it isn’t until the final minutes that Turkey Shoot brings the crazy, with people run over, cut in two by a bulldozer blade, getting their hands chopped off, and more – all in graphic, hanging close-ups that helped get the film cut by 10 minutes before it could be released in US theaters.

Turkey Shoot may have been shocking in 1982, but 30 years later it’s no more than a time capsule of its era…and a poorly stitched-together hybrid of prison camp exploitation and grindhouse violence.

Fun facts:

• Based on cast interviews from Not Quite Hollywood and its own DVD commentary, Turkey Shoot was a nightmare production. There were major cuts in both the budget and the shooting schedule, and the cast was put at risk many times (allegedly, some were shot at using real bullets for authenticity).

• Composer Brian May (not the Queen guitarist) created Turkey Shoot’s synth-heavy soundtrack. He also created a soundtrack a year earlier for another brutal, futuristic Aussie export: The Road Warrior.)

aka Escape 2000, Blood Camp Thatcher.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

No. Way. People are beaten to death, burned alive, dismembered, shot, run over and, in one deliciously cheesy scene, a head is splattered via an explosive arrowhead. There are also copious amounts of male and female nudity, and continuous profanities.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Unless she’s fan of grindhouse, exploitation, or cult films, I’d say no.

Hey! That was my last JujyFruit– give it back!

Turkey Shoot

* Director: Brian Trenchard-Smith

* Screenwriter: Jon George, Neill Hicks

* Stars: Steve Railsback, Olivia Hussey, Michael Craig, Lynda Stoner, Roger Ward

* MPAA Rating: R

 

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Hobo with a Shotgun (2011)

LAST YEAR, filmmaker Robert Rodriguez released the grindhouse love letter Machete following the buzz surrounding his 2007 then-fake trailer of the same name. Critic and audience response was good, but not great. “Meh”-chete, if you will.

So when an outlandish red-band trailer surfaced online months ago for another grindhouse tribute flick, Hobo with a Shotgun, the question was raised: Was there any possible way this film could live up to such craziness?

Plot:
Rutger Hauer (The Hitcher, Blade Runner) is a hobo who rolls into a deteriorating, crime-ridden town (think Escape from New York meets Robocop’s Old Detroit), only to find it overrun by violence and ruled by a vicious crime lord known as the Drake (Brian Downey). The hobo's solution: Pick up a shotgun and start laying waste to crooks, corrupt cops, and lowlifes who cross his path.

Critique:

It’s funny how mindset and time of day can affect one’s opinion.

After a late-night, caffeine-ridden viewing, it felt like Hobo director Jason Eisener just missed living up to the hype brought about by the trailer. The film seemed compelling yet uneven, with only nominal character development beyond the relationship between Hauer’s hobo and Abby (Molly Dunsworth), the hooker he’s sworn to protect.

But after a second viewing the following day, my head was in the right place to soak in everything Hobo had to offer: It’s an over-the-top, blood-drenched, blood-spurting riot that would make a young Peter Jackson proud (Eisener even offers an homage to Jackson’s splatter classic Dead Alive by featuring a lawnmower as a body-chopping weapon).


Hauer overdelivers nearly all of his vengeful-vagabond dialogue, and rightly so, given the campy and exploitative nature of the film. But screenwriter John Davies saves most of the best lines for the supporting cast of baddies: There are so many ridiculously raunchy catchphrases that I can’t repeat them all here, let alone pick the best one. Beyond the actors and the action, the atmosphere of Hobo is accentuated by two key factors: its oversaturated color scheme and the retro/synth-heavy score by Darius Holbert and Russ Howard III.

Hobo with a Shotgun is an all-out attack on the senses. It’s part grindhouse homage, part graphic novel come to life, and totally out of control…but in the most entertaining way possible.

Fun fact: Much like Machete, Hobo with a Shotgun originated as a fake trailer for Grindhouse (but was only attached to the Canadian theater release). The trailer, also directed by Eisener, was the winner of the South by Southwest (SXSW) Grindhouse fake trailer competition.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

Hell. No. On top of the endless profanity, the vulgar threats made to random victims (most of whom are women), and the occasional nudity, the violence is graphic and relentless. People are decapitated, disemboweled, dismembered, crushed, tortured, hanged, shot, and stabbed. In addition, a baddie blowtorches a busload of kids, and in one scene Hauer’s hobo chews on broken glass.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

I’m guessing no, unless she’s into grindhouse flicks and can stomach a lot of bloody, graphic violence. Hobo’s more for a group of guys who can play off each other and hoot it up about the insanity taking place on the screen.

"Please don't shoot my dick off! I still have a lot of f**king left to do!"
(Actual line from the movie.)

Hobo with a Shotgun
* Director: Jason Eisener
* Screenwriter: John Davies
* Stars: Rutger Hauer, Gregory Smith, Molly Dunsworth, Nick Bateman, Brian Downey, Jeremy Akerman
* MPAA Rating: R


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The Legend of God’s Gun (2007)

THE BACK OF THE DVD BOX for The Legend of God’s Gun declares the film to be (their caps) “A GRINDHOUSE ROCK-N-ROLL SPAGHETTI WESTERN!!!”

Well, any movie that tries to fit itself into that many hip genres automatically gets me suspicious – suspicious that the film will try too hard (or not hard enough) to meld all those film styles into one cohesive, enjoyable film.

Plot:
Something about an avenging, gun-toting preacher (Bobby Bones), a reluctant sheriff (Mike Bruce), and a goofy bandito named El Sobero (Kirkpatrick Thomas).

Critique:

The Legend of God’s Gun incorporates a lot of the elements from the grindhouse and spaghetti western genres: bad, jumpy cuts and quick zooms; grainy, washed-out footage; bad looping of dialogue; acting that feels like everything was a first take; a tinny, mono soundtrack; and abundant use of a split-screen.

But while it’s kitschy and fun to watch older grindhouse and spaghetti western movies today, everything about The Legend of God’s Gun quickly feels like less of an homage and more of a gimmick.

Even the worst flicks from those two genres have a basic premise to hook the viewer. Writer/director Mike Bruce (also starring as the aforementioned sheriff) should’ve been less concerned about paying tribute to his favorite genres and more focused on a linear, compelling story.

Despite cool poster art and a great tagline (“You are about to leave this earth with many regrets”), The Legend of God’s Gun is a chore to sit through. Even at only 79 minutes, it will frustrate the most die-hard grindhouse and spaghetti western fans. And with most of the cast being rock stars by trade (from bands such as Brian Jonestown Massacre, Spindrift, and The Morlocks), it adds fuel to the argument that musicians make bad actors.

I’m fully aware that The Legend of God’s Gun is an independent film, and with that can come sacrifices in budget and production value. But that’s no excuse for the dips in quality that plague it. At times, it feels less like an independent movie and more like an experimental student film.

The Legend of God’s Gun achieves a dubious double-whammy: It manages to both overshoot and undershoot in its attempts to honor two classic genres – and in the end delivers an unwatchable film.

Rating:

Will your kids want to watch it?

I’d say keep children away from The Legend of God’s Gun – not because of its objectionable content, but because it’s a horrible film. On the subject of the former: multiple shootings, adult language, a scene of necrophilia, Colt and some lady friends get high in an opium den, and a brief glimpse of bouncing boobs.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Do not let her watch this film, even if she thinks she wants to.

I wish a had a pencil-thin mustache…

The Legend of God’s Gun
• Director: Mike Bruce
• Screenwriter: Mike Bruce
• Stars: Bobby Bones, Kirkpatrick Thomas, Mike Bruce, Julie Patterson, Scott Dyeswell
• MPAA Rating: N/A


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