Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (2009)

I ADMIT IT: I’m a Pixar snob.

For me, Pixar can do no wrong when it comes to animated films. (Well, nearly any wrong; A Bug’s Life was too “shouty” for me, and I still feel let down by Ratatouille.) So when Sony Animation Studios released Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs last year, I brushed it off with the belief of, “Whatever, faceless global conglomerate; you don’t have the heart, the Pixar touch, to make me want to see your silly little film.”

Fast forward to this month, where I decided to rent Meatballs in the interest of fairness – and made it family viewing at our home. Accompanying Dash and I were our own FilmMother and a special guest critic: Dash’s 3-year-old little brother, Jack-Jack.

Plot:

The little island town of Swallow Falls has a major export (heck, it’s their only export): sardines. But when the rest of the world realizes that sardines are gross, no one buys them anymore – causing Swallow Falls to suffer its own unique recession/depression. That is, until young inventor Flint Lockwood (Bill Hader) creates a machine that turns rain water into food. As Flint becomes famously popular for his creation, he faces two foes: a doubting father (James Caan) who thinks Flint should stop before things get out of control; and a greedy, gluttonous mayor (Bruce Campbell) who wants to exploit Flint’s work for his own gain. All the while, Flint tries to score with an on-the-scene weather girl (Anna Faris) who may not be as scientifically challenged as she seems.

Critique:

Going into Meatballs, I wasn’t familiar with the source material: the children’s book by Judi and Ron Barrett. I consider that to be a good thing, because any familiarity with the book would have clouded (pun intended) my enjoyment of this fantastic film.

I was either smiling or laughing nearly the entire time I watched Meatballs. Its humor is inspired and rapid-fire, and the animation is both nimble and gorgeous – truly a feast for the eyes. And it’s all accompanied by a majestic musical score from veteran composer and former Devo frontman Mark Mothersbaugh. (Side note: I defy you to get the closing song, Miranda Cosgrove’s “Raining Sunshine,” out of your head; it’s just so damn happy.)

And just when I thought writer/directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller were spending too much time on laughs and not enough on character, they evolve Flint, Sam, and Flint’s father into fully fleshed out people (animatedly speaking).

A large portion of that fleshing-out comes from Meatballs’ theme of the fragile father-son relationship so many men deal with in their lives: Trying to please a father without being stuck in his old-fashioned ways, yet hoping for love and approval from him at the same time…and ultimately living up to your potential, no matter what anybody says.

Watch your back, Pixar – if Sony Animation and/or the team of Lord and Miller make another film as great as Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, your spot as king of motion picture animation may have a worthy challenger to the throne.

Rating:

What did Dash think?

Dash thoroughly enjoyed Meatballs. He was laughing and talking at the screen the whole time. And he has watched some or all of the film every day since then. But while Dash enjoyed Meatballs as a whole, it’s Jack-Jack who provides the pull-quotes for this review:

"It’s the food-maker maked it!” [“Food-maker” = Flint]

“The food-maker was funny.”

And for posterity’s sake, Jack-Jack even took a picture of the TV screen with his camera while we paused the film for a popcorn refill.

Is it suitable for your kids?

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs is rated PG for “brief mild language,” but aside from “lame,” “nerd,” and Flint muttering something like “holy crapples” when being attacked by a horde of plucked chickens,* there wasn’t anything offensive in Meatballs that would make it unsuitable to children of any age.

* I took this scene back three times and still couldn’t figure out what he said, so I doubt any child would pick up on it.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Absolutely. And if she doesn’t, make her anyway. She’ll thank you when it’s over.

Do you see what I see?

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
* Directors: Phil Lord and Christopher Miller
* Screenwriters: Phil Lord and Christopher Miller
* Stars: Bill Hader, Anna Faris, James Caan, Bruce Campbell, Mr. T, Andy Samberg
* MPAA Rating: PG (brief mild language)

Isn't me lovely...

FILMFATHER WELCOMES THE NEW YEAR with two award nods from fellow bloggers - Chris at When Is Evil Cool? and Geof at Enter The Man-Cave - who have both given me the award for being One Lovely Blog! I graciously accept, thanks guys.

Rules for accepting the award are that I must bestow the One Lovely Blog Award to 15 fellow bloggers I think are lovely as well. I've already given awards to most of my favorite blogs in past "ceremonies" (see here and here), but there are other blogs I've discovered or overlooked since then that are also worthy.

Here are my fantastic 15. If you're on this list and you've already received the One Lovely Blog award from someone else, a) congratulations; and b) sorry, I'm too lazy to check.

The B-Movie Film Vault BLOG!

Business Guys on Business Trips

Calvin's Canadian Cave of Coolness

Cane Toad Warrior

Creative-Type Dad

Dartman's World of Wonder

Film Insight

Funny Cats
Go Retro!
The Grateful Daddy

Motion Picture Gems

Proud Poppa

Retro Slashers Blog

Retrospace

The Sexy Armpit

On a side note, sorry about the lack of reviews lately. I was laid off from my paying job the day after I posted my review for The Korean. However, I just landed a new job, so things seem to be looking up. PLUS, I vow I will be back with a bounty of fresh reviews in the immediate future. Check back soon, check back often...

The Korean (2008)

I’VE STATED BEFORE THAT I have a love for films with a revenge or payback angle. So I checked out the independent film The Korean to see if it would satisfy my craving for some retribution.

Plot:
Four criminals betray a big-time mobster (Harry O’Toole) and disappear – with one of the criminals (John Yost), a dirty cop, planning to have him busted. With only hours until his arrest, the mobster calls in a deadly "cleaner" known as The Korean (Josiah D. Lee) to track down the backstabbing criminals and finish them.

Critique:

The Korean's story is told largely in flashback and out of sequence, tossing the viewer from present to past to recent past to concurrent action for nearly all of its 98 minutes. And during these jarring shifts in storytelling, it seems like almost every encounter between the characters is a double-cross or payback for one, making it difficult to keep track. Who’s who? Who knows? After an hour I asked, “Who cares?”

The film also suffers from by-the-numbers dialogue and iffy acting. Regarding the latter, the weakest link is ironically Lee in the title role. He tries to play The Korean as cold and methodical, but his soft voice and monotone delivery make it sound like he’s shyly auditioning for the part. (The only bright spot is Jack Erdie, who’s entertainingly evil and witty as Lee’s protégé Ray.)

With The Korean, writer-director Thomas Dixon seems to be striving for something Tarantino-esque or in the vein of Rashomon, but all he succeeds in doing with the jump-around narrative is frustrate the viewer.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

The Korean isn’t rated, but features several disrobing makeout scenes (though no nudity), some bloody gunplay and knifings, and one scene of torture. It should be okay for teens, and maybe even tweens with adult supervision.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

Unless she knows someone involved in the production, I doubt it.

Y'know, it's not nice to point...

The Korean
* Director: Thomas Dixon
* Screenwriter: Thomas Dixon
* Stars: Josiah D. Lee, Jennifer Voss, John Yost, Jack Erdie, Rik Billok, Rose Smith
* MPAA Rating: N/A

Rent The Korean from Netflix >>

A Boy Named Charlie Brown (1969)

LAST DECEMBER, DASH AND I had fun watching a childhood favorite of mine, Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown. Based on that success, I decided to share another Charlie Brown flick with him: the Peanuts gang’s first full-length feature, A Boy Named Charlie Brown.

Plot:
After a disastrous attempt at kite-flying and his baseball team’s 99th loss in a row, Charlie Brown (Peter Robbins) starts feeling that he’s a born loser. But that feeling changes when Linus (Glenn Gilger) convinces him to enter the school spelling bee, and he wins. As he advances to inter-school and national spelling bees, can Charlie Brown shake his loser ways once and for all?

Critique:

All the trademark Charlie-as-loser scenarios from the classic Peanuts comic strip make appearances in A Boy Named Charlie Brown: his failed kite-flying, featuring the toothy kite-eating tree; his ill-fated attempts at pitching for his baseball team (and his clothes flying off from line drives); and his need to seek advice from Lucy’s Psychiatric Help booth.

The script by Peanuts creator Charles Schulz is accessible to kids but doesn’t talk down to them (though a couple of segments are longer on dialogue than action or laughs). My favorite line: After Charlie Brown is clocked in the head by a line-drive baseball, someone shouts, “Does anybody know first aid?” Lucy’s response: “It’s probably not serious. Second or third aid will do.”

The soundtrack features original songs by Rod McKuen (whose poetry and music were popular at the time), as well as the trademark Peanuts score by the Vince Guaraldi Trio.

Some of the animation styles leave no mystery to the fact that the film was made in the late ‘60s: Several sequences dabble in psychedelic color schemes, transitions, and type fonts.

Because of the plot, there’s a lot of word-spelling leading up to the finale – so if your kids aren't careful, they may learn something before it’s done (hey, hey, hey).

A couple of debits: The film loses some steam between the second and third acts, especially due to a B-story of Linus looking for his lost blanket after he and Snoopy visit Charlie Brown in the big city. And an extended, trippy sequence of historic/artistic people and places – set to Schroder playing a Beethoven piece – seems, while visually inspiring, a bit out of place.

In the end, Dash and I agreed: While Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown was better, A Boy Named Charlie Brown was good and worth watching.

Rating:

What did Dash think?

If Dash’s laughter is any indication, A Boy Named Charlie Brown still holds up 40 years later. From the first scene he was laughing, and continued to do so at a pretty consistent pace throughout the film.

Will your kids like it?

I highly suspect they will. Some very young kids may drop out after a certain point (like they do with many full-length movies), but kindergartners and older should find it quite enjoyable.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

I think she’ll find A Boy Named Charlie Brown to be not only a cute, harmless, entertaining movie for the kids, but a trip down Memory Lane for herself as well.

"FREEBIRD!!!"

A Boy Named Charlie Brown
* Director: Bill Melendez
* Screenwriter: Charles M. Schulz
* Stars: Peter Robbins, Pamelyn Ferdin, Glenn Gilger, Andy Pforsich, Erin Sullivan, Christopher DeFaria
* MPAA Rating: G


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Black Christmas (1974)

FILMMAKER BOB CLARK IS PROBABLY most well-known as the director of the holiday classic A Christmas Story (1983). But a decade earlier, he also directed another yuletide favorite among film buffs: the seminal slasher Black Christmas.

Plot:
As a college sorority house empties for Christmas break, the remaining sisters must suffer the disturbing rants of an obscene caller. Meanwhile, a madman breaks into the attic of the house and starts picking off the sisters one by one. In addition, sorority sister Jess (Romeo & Juliet’s Olivia Hussey) must deal with her pregnancy by boyfriend Peter (2001’s Keir Dullea) and considers an abortion (which Peter opposes).

Critique:
Before dying in a car crash in 2007, Clark arguably created classics in three different genres: holiday (A Christmas Story), teen sex comedy (Porky’s), and with Black Christmas, horror.

Clark relies largely on sound (or lack of it) to ratchet up the film’s tension:

• The obscene calls: a nightmarish medley of giggling, hissing, screaming, and wailing – with mentions of “Billy” and “Agnes” and what sounds like different voices of a man, woman, and child
• Beyond church bells and Christmas carolers, Clark uses virtually no musical score except for a dull, rippling echo at key points in the film
• The silence in many scenes, where lesser filmmakers would shove in an overdramatic score, is completely unnerving

Of course, what’s seen is just as terrifying:

• It’s one of the first slasher films to use generous point-of-view of the killer (four years before Halloween)
• The recurring scene of first victim Claire (Lynne Griffin), suffocated by a dry cleaning bag and propped in a rocking chair in the attic as the killer’s first trophy
• An unsettling killing inside the sorority house, interspersed with child carolers singing right outside the front door
• A glimpse of the killer near the end that I won’t spoil here (though it’s now kind of synonymous with the film)

The sorority house is its own character, with long hallways, ornate wood railings, and stairways and hallways with sharp turns or dimly lit ends – preventing the viewer from seeing what (or who) might be around the corner or hiding in the darkness.

Black Christmas also includes a twist near the end that’s become a clichéd horror punchline, but one that originated here and still gives a shiver when revealed. And the final tracking shot, silent except for the ticking of a grandfather clock, is as scary as anything that came earlier in the film.
 

If you’re a horror fan, you owe it to yourself to see Black Christmas. It’s a great slasher film that’s largely forgotten or underappreciated outside of fans of the genre. It also has one of the greatest taglines ever: “If this picture doesn’t make your skin crawl…it’s on too tight!” Well, it did make my skin crawl – then it crawled under my crawling skin and has stayed there ever since.

Tidbits:

• Hussey’s sorority sisters include Margot Kidder (Superman II) as the resident boozehound, plus SCTV’s Andrea Martin.
• Hussey would revisit horror several years later, playing Norman Bates’ mother in Psycho IV (1990).
• Regarding the jarring “echo” sound mentioned earlier: Composer Carl Zittrer created the score by tying forks, combs, and knives to the strings of his piano so the sound would warp as he struck the keys. He distorted the sound further by putting pressure on the reels of his audio tape machine to make it turn slower. (Source: IMDb)

 

Rating:

Will your kids want to watch it?

Very little blood is actually spilled in Black Christmas, but there so many other elements to scare (and scar) young viewers: The creepy and highly obscene phone calls, the long shots of empty and foreboding hallways, the images of the victims…it’s a formula that’s highly likely to ruin what is probably your kids’ most beloved holiday. In short, keep it away from children, but teens (and maybe tweens, your call) should find it to be enjoyably terrifying.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

If you can convince her to watch it, Black Christmas may be an opportunity for her to snuggle closer to you during the holiday season. Did I say “snuggle?” I meant, “cling tightly in fear.”

"Y'know, I wouldn't have to scream like a maniac

if you'd put the phone to your ear..."

Buy Black Christmas at Half.com (DVD) >>
Rent Black Christmas from Netflix >>

Don't leave me now...

Apologies, faithful FilmFather followers...my real job and the Christmas rush have put a dent in my time to review films lately.

But please keep checking in. I should have some new reviews up very soon.

In the meantime, props to anyone who can identify the above movie.

The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)

WITH THIS REVIEW COMES a new segment at FilmFather: Trashterpiece Theatre.

I’ve been having trouble trying to define, in one sentence, what qualifies a film for this label. I felt like just saying what that judge said years ago when asked to define obscenity: “I know it when I see it.”

I’ve ultimately narrowed it down to this: Trashterpiece Theatre reflects films that go beyond guilty pleasures. For example, they could be:
* Highly watchable exploitation movies
* So-bad-they’re-good B-movies
* Mainstream movies that are delicious junk food for your brain

In short: They’re great movies to watch, but may not be great movies per se.

Our inaugural film for Trashterpiece Theatre: 1982’s The Sword and the Sorcerer.

Plot:

The city of Ehdan is ruled by merciless King Cromwell (legendary character actor Richard Lynch), but there are plans for a rebellion led by Lord Mikah (Simon MacCorkindale), Ehdan’s rightful heir. However, Cromwell thwarts the rebellion, captures Mikah, and throws him in his dungeon.

To rescue Mikah and revive the rebellion, his sister Alana (Kathleen Beller) hires Talon (Lee Horsley) and his band of mercenaries. Armed with a kick-ass, three-blade sword (whose outer blades shoot from the handle), Talon accepts the mission with one demand as payment: Anna must sleep with him after he rescues Mikah.

Talon also has a personal interest in the mission: Many years ago, Cromwell killed Talon’s father, King Richard (Christopher Cary) and took over Richard’s kingdom.

Critique:

Director Albert Pyun’s track record of bad films has few equals (see a partial list of his films in this article), yet he delivers The Sword and the Sorcerer with all the intentions of a big-budget spectacular – from the opening sequence setting up Talon and Cromwell’s grudge to the fantastic free-for-all finale at Cromwell’s castle.

Horsley plays Talon with a swagger that falls somewhere between John Wayne and Errol Flynn. He’s unrepentant in his words and actions, yet you root for him as the film’s hero.

The dialogue is delightfully cheesy, filled with campy humor and smirk-worthy one-liners – including many innuendos about men’s swords (their size, raising them, etc.)

To the film’s credit, David Whitaker’s triumphant score adds some integrity to the melodramatics, and there are many elaborate sets that occasionally give the film a feel of epic scope.

Watch for supporting roles by Murphy Brown’s Joe Regalbuto as one of Talon’s mercenaries, and Night Court’s Richard Moll as a brutal sorcerer.

After the end credits, the film announces the adventure will continue with Tales of an Ancient Empire, a sequel that’s “coming soon.” Well, I guess 28 years still counts as “soon” because Pyun is currently (finally!) filming the sequel, starring Kevin Sorbo, Christopher Lambert, and Horsley. (Follow the film’s production at its official site.)

The Sword and the Sorcerer is a delicious slice of ‘80s Velveeta, complete with everything your inner 14-year-old boy could want: swords, sorcery, boobs, gore, action, and adventure. It’s currently out of print, so your best bet is one of the links at the bottom or pray for a DVD/Blu-Ray re-release when Tales of an Ancient Empire comes out. Either way, this Trashterpiece is worth seeking out.

Rating:

Will your kids want to watch it?

Given my earlier reference to your inner 14-year-old, it’s probably safe to say that younger boys will want to watch The Sword and Sorcerer if they see the poster or any clips online. But despite the cheese factor of the film, it has a lot of unsavory content that younger viewers shouldn’t see: an attempted rape, soldiers burned alive, stabbings, impalings, torture, crucifixion, random nudity, and both hearts and tongues torn out. It’s bloody good fun, but use discretion around kids and young tweens.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

This really feels like one for you to enjoy with other male brethren, but in a group environment I bet she could get caught up in the fun.

You think that’s bad? You should see what they did the M, C, and A guys.

The Sword and the Sorcerer
* Director: Albert Pyun
* Screenwriters: Tom Karnowski, John Stuckmeyer, Albert Pyun
* Stars: Lee Horsley, Kathleen Beller, Simon MacCorkindale, Richard Lynch, Richard Moll
* MPAA Rating: R


Buy The Sword and The Sorcerer (DVD) at Half.com >>
Buy The Sword and The Sorcerer (VHS) at Half.com >>

Shoot ‘Em Up (2007)

MUCH LIKE THE FILM ITSELF, I’m going to jump right into my review of Shoot ‘Em Up without any setup…

Plot:
On a dark city street, a pregnant woman is chased by gunman, who both run by Mr. Smith (Clive Owen) as he sits on a bench, munching a carrot. Smith begrudgingly gets himself involved in the situation, killing the gunman – then he’s forced to deliver the woman’s baby while fending off a huge crew of armed thugs led by Mr. Hertz (Paul Giamatti). During the shootout, the mom is killed but Smith escapes with the baby. With the help of his hooker friend Donna (Monica Bellucci), Smith tries to figure out why the woman was wanted by the henchmen – and why they want the baby dead as well.

Critique:

Like the videogame genre it’s named after, writer/director Michael Davis’ Shoot ‘Em Up is a largely unrealistic yet awesomely trippy thrill-ride. All that’s missing is the first-person POV and the hand holding a gun in the lower corner.

The action sequences are almost too much to take in, but in a good way. (Kudos to the whiz-bang choreography of Peter Pau and editing by Peter Amundson.) You’ll laugh at the ridiculousness of each burst of action, but you’ll stay smiling afterwards because – admit it – it was also pretty awesome.

Shoot ‘Em Up does have its human moments. Smith’s traumatic backstory gives a rationale for his involvement, and the film will give any father a mix of emotions: The man inside you will eat up the action, yet your paternal instincts will feel for the baby (example: a tender scene where Smith takes off his sock to make a cap for the infant).

Other strong points: Giamatti is deliciously, charmingly scuzzy as head baddie Mr. Hertz (something tells me his first name is Dick). And the action scenes feature a high-speed soundtrack to match the mayhem, with songs by Nirvana, Motorhead, AC/DC, and Motley Crue.

In its easily digestible 86 minutes, Shoot ‘Em Up offers a dark, entertaining take on the classic Bugs Bunny/Elmer Fudd cartoons: riotous levels of chaos and mayhem, cheesy yet funny one-liners, and ingenious and outrageous ways out of no-escape scenarios. Make this a double-bill with 2008’s Rambo, and your craving for all-guns-blazing carnage will be satisfied for a long time to come.

Rating:

Will your kids want to watch it?

With its video-game style, fast action, and massive amounts of gunplay, it’s easy to see why Shoot ‘Em Up would attract kids (read: boys) of any age. But while the film does take its violence to an almost cartoonish level, it shouldn’t be viewed by children below high-school age:
* Countless shooting deaths (we’re talking dozens), dismemberment, torture, and several lethal uses of a carrot
* A newborn baby is in peril numerous times
* Some sexual, S&M, and fetish goings-on at a brothel, plus an explicit love scene between Owen and Bellucci that gives new meaning to coitus interruptus

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

If all the manly shooting and posturing in Shoot ‘Em Up isn’t enough to turn her off, see the aforementioned baby peril – the kid’s in danger of being shot, dropped, abandoned, or run over at different stages of the film. All signs point to you watching this alone or with buds.

Nobody puts my baby bottles in a corner...

Shoot ‘Em Up
* Director: Michael Davis
* Screenwriter: Michael Davis
* Stars: Clive Owen, Monica Bellucci, Paul Giamatti, Stephen McHattie, Greg Bryk, Daniel Pilon
* MPAA Rating: R (pervasive strong bloody violence, sexuality and some language)


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Rent Shoot ‘Em Up from Netflix >>